Things are going to change around here.They have to.
We’ve had too many late nights, too frequent crying baby, not enough good food, and insufficient progress towards our goals.
Starting now: My new priorities.
1) Spirituality. Praying morning, evening + obligatory prayer each day. Doesn’t have to be long. Does have to be focused and sincere.
I’m going to add here the routines of connection we’re starting to build. Deep breathing and setting/discussing intentions with our meals; brief times in the evening when husband and I stop and connect. These are the heart of our developing family life.
2) Baby routines. Wake-up, potty, teeth, breakfast, play. Snacks. Lunch. Dinner. Bath at 6:30, teeth, potty, stories, nurse, bed by 7:30. Ab-so-lute-ly essential. Plus, of course, lots of love, cuddle, play, read and fun time.
3) Food. We need to switch to a gluten-free diet. We are also trying to save money. We have a great new cookbook thanks to friends. I will be studying this, making menu plans, buying the right foods and getting rid of the not-right foods.
4) Finances/Family Planning Priorities. I will support us in motoring through the creation of our new family budget, cash envelopes, tracking systems, wills, and the other priorities we’ve established.
5) Everything else??? The course I’m trying to finish teaching. Purging our possessions. Keeping the house clean. Starting new writing projects. Time with friends. On and on!
Hows are a big challenge for me. What does it mean if we make this list of priorities, but we have an entire kitchen of dirty dishes and piles of dirty clothes? Other things still need doing. Here’s how I think this might play out.
a) Spirituality first = getting the energy and focus to do what we need doing.
b) Keeping the vision in mind (Healthy family; happy daughter; moving out of this house and into better accommodations; financial independence; etc.) also helps to streamline my time.
c) No more facebook. At least for a while. SIGH. But, really, time is key and a few minutes here and there adds up.
d) Mainly: this new regime means doing the important things first, AND stopping doing anything else if a higher priority need comes up. I can purge to my heart’s content tomorrow, as long as I run through baby’s morning routine, and have lunch & dinner planned out and going.
Some of you may wonder where my husband – the male sex – fits in with this potentially gendered to-do list. Let me tell you! My husband is amazing. Truly loving, supportive and committed to equality in our family. Just one example: He does the dishes. Almost all the time, unless I sneak in and do them. He actively discourages me from doing them, because it’s something he can do to contribute, and because he wants us to approach chores in a non-gender-stereotypical manner. And yes, he cooks too. In fact, his meals are generally better than mine, in spite of all my talk and cooking effort! He is right now working evenings and weekends (plus weekdays) to finish off the renos on this house that we can’t wait to be rid of. When I say evenings, I mean frequently until 11 or midnight. And yes, dishes too. I can’t do the renos. He does them well and quickly. Maybe in a future fun project we will do this kind of thing together. We want to, and I’m sure we will. Right now? The strategy is divide and conquer, short-term pain for long-term gain. The least I can do is support us in changing our diet over to GF and taking the lead on baby routines and the budget. Which he is fully in support of.
So, that’s that.
It’s 11. I’m going to send a few quick emails and head to bed. Maybe, I might possibly finish reading “Oh the glory of it all” because it’s been consuming me and I”m almost done. Yes, I need to stop reading so many novels, too. At least for a while.