I don’t want to work.
At least, I don’t want to work on a project for my business. I applied to do this workshop months ago, and assumed that by late August I’d have the energy and enthusiasm to pull it off. I’ve had a couple of months of just family time, caring for my daughter, cooking, reading, all the home nesting things that I love.
How come I can’t drag my attention to this workshop on a cool topic that I proposed myself? Why do I feel completely over my head? Where is my professional edge, driving me to succeed?
What I would much, much rather spend my time doing: Caring for my daughter. Organizing our family recipes. Continuing cleaning out, purging, organizing and making attractive every corner of our home. Writing. Developing an author’s website. Reading. Reading about home schooling. Planning home schooling. Visiting with friends. Researching nutrition for our family and planning out better meals. Sewing. Crafting. Walking. Doing any of dozens of mini-projects we have for our family, from the arenas of health through finance through spiritual development to disaster preparedness.
My heart is in my home. My energy is in my home. What can I learn from my complete lack of energy for this workshop? Should I – SHOULD I – push myself to do it? It’s not like work is fun for everyone all the time. Count my blessings, learn to do the hard work and do it.
I have a unique opportunity right now to choose where I expend my energy. I have the support of my spouse to select and pursue the path that is most true to my heart. I can see clearly where my heart is not – therefore, have the courage to say no to the opportunity/ball & chain.
[…] polysemy, I declare this upcoming workshop to be both a sign and a problem, thus making it an opportunity: To figure out what I really want to […]