I wanted to write about being a stay at home mom, but today I don’t think I can. Why? Because I’m not sure if I am one.
The summer months, while I was on salary continuance, I was supposed to be looking for work and developing business ideas. Because I’m obsessive like that (to do lists are definitely an addiction) that’s largely what I did, with child time in between.
Now I’m giving a go to just being a stay at home mom. Focusing on my daughter, our home, her growth, connecting with community. Except … I can’t do that. Because if I want to collect EI, I need to have an active job search. Because I have writing projects I’m excited about. Because I am trying to get into a business development program to get my consulting thing up and running. All those require time and mental focus, and I find it remarkably hard to do that plus be a present, engaged stay at home mother simultaneously.
And, of course, childcare. We still have absolutely no idea what we are going to do for consistent, healthy, part-time childcare that our daughter will enjoy that fits with my working/ finding work schedule.
What I mean is: I suck at balance. Being great at more than one thing simultaneous feels out of reach. And still: I’m going to give it another shot tomorrow.