Anxiety-Guilt Interface

I have recently begun to notice (possibly it’s been there for a while) a frustrating synthesis of anxiety and guilt when I’m looking after my daughter. Not always. But sometimes I get the feeling that there is more I should be doing with her. That I should be stimulating her brain more, paying closer attention to her, and being more responsive and interactive. And sometimes when she’s playing happily by herself, even sometimes when she’s on my lap and amusing herself, I start to worry about what I should be doing with her. I’m not sure what it is – but this SOMETHING that I SHOULD be focusing my time on. Because just babbling, chewing and laughing are not enough. So I feel anxious, full of nervous energy; and I feel guilty for my actions or lack of them.
These and many other feelings are reasons why I know I should meditate daily. And yet: I don’t. I hope to start soon, as I would like to find some tool to let go of bad feelings, so I can enjoy her fully, and she can be around a mom who is a relaxed rather than anxious caregiver.

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