38 Weeks

So much going on – so much to process.
38 weeks = baby really could come soon. Baby WILL come soon. We ran into a couple at the midwife’s yesterday – she was due about the same time and her baby came 2 weeks early. Barb doesn’t think baby will come for at least another week – but still. How on earth will I and we and our house be ready for labour, birth and a newborn by the time s/he arrives?

Birth prep: we haven’t done enough. Or at least as much as I want. I’m not exercising every day. I’m not doing the level of visualization I want. No aromatherapy. Haven’t picked birth music. Major guilt and worry. I really need to let that go, but it is hard. I don’t like being this busy, or having our family be this busy with everything to do with life – I want the time to do birth prep, on my own and together, in a peaceful environment. Well, we don’t have it. I need to accept, realize I’m certainly ready enough, and move on.

Renos. Continue. Saturday M opened up the back room to winterize/put in new windows/finish properly. This means the stuff we were storing there is now in the rest of the house. Along with the piles of stuff we’re trying to sell. End result is a big mess!! I’m taking a more philosophical attitude now – necessary renos will be done, and the others will get done after birth. However, since we’re birthing at home, I know we need to get the house to a certain level of order or I won’t be able to relax properly. So once again, I have only limited control and need to let go.

Home organization and purging. Continues. We actually are doing really well here. We sorted a bunch of kitchen boxes a few nights ago and have another 3 boxes of stuff to give away. I’m going corner by corner and organizing/purging/junking unnecessary things. Latest corners include the pantry (in several stages), the corner of the kitchen, spice area and fridge/freezer. Though the house is chaotic, I can see the progress and know that when push comes to shove (and with the back room and kitchen cupboards finished) it won’t take much to get the house into a clean, peaceful, organized environment for birth and baby. Maybe this is helping me stay calm about things. Another week, a few more corners to go, and things will be looking good.

Baby prep. I now have a nursing pillow and 4 awesome newborn diaper covers. In-laws loaned us a great co-sleeper which also has a diaper change pad – so we are ready to go bed-wise, though location isn’t clear and we probably will co-sleep right in the bed for the first while. Have virtually all the home birth supplies we need, and I’m going to work on getting food into the freezer and cupboards for the birth (I already stocked up on juice). Mom is helping me with lasagna-making, and maybe some other frozen foods to eat after. I’m going to do another batch of granola so we’ve got lots for the first bit after birth. Car seat is successfully installed (had it checked out yesterday). M built a bedframe for our couch/sofa bed, so the living room is almost outfitted. Things look like they’ll work out with the great doula we’re working with. All in all, prep is going well.

Other distractions. We finally got together papers last week for the rental dispute with our very unpleasant tenant and I filed/delivered them. The hearing is Monday (by phone) and we don’t really care what the outcome is. Have let that go. Have some back and forth with a mutual fund company from the States re. moving my money up here – they are annoyingly slow and haven’t processed paperwork faxed 2 weeks ago. But again, I’m doing what I can and trying not to think about the rest. Writing papers is not happening – so I’m breathing and again working not to think about it, because I can only do what I can. Haven’t been thinking about work, and that is great. No volunteer commitments right now. Life’s pretty good.

Now on to another day of fun house/baby/self prep!

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