After the initial excitement of finding out we’re pregnant I’ve been accompanied by a constant stream of worry. I thought I’d be more concerned about things like giving birth, the difficult first few months or keeping my work and career going. Instead, the worry focuses on one theme: is baby okay?
I struggle to free my mind of negative thoughts and the many fears of what could go wrong. My mind can create alarmingly vivid images of how we could lose baby and the problems we could have. I tell the thoughts to go away, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. The only solution I’ve found so far has been to connect with the new little person inside me.
Last night my mind was flooding with worst case scenarios. Stressed and exhausted, I climbed in the shower and started to talk with baby. I told her how much we love her and are so excited she’s coming. I told her that she’s going to love her dad, and that he’s going to take really good care of her. I told her all about the wonderful people who are so excited to meet her when she’s ready to come out. And we talked about all the plans her daddy and I have to get ready for her and to have a wonderful life with her.
Verbalizing the positive shoved out everything else and made it real to me that we have a baby on the way. A special, precious, cute little bundle of pudges. And we’re so lucky for this.