Life with baby is making me think more than usual about time. What is it, where does it go, and how do I choose to spend what I have. Getting the right relationship with time is really important to me now, as it affects the quality of my time with baby, my enjoyment of life, and her perceptions of how to live.
What is there time for? There is time for what I choose. Why I consistently choose “get it done” tasks and work around the house over writing, meditating, time with friends and exercise, is a puzzle to me. I love having a clean house, feel satisfied when the fridge is stocked and dinner is made, and get enjoyment from sorting and purging my possessions. But these tasks are constant, and not what I want as the grand total of my life at the end.
Also, it’s interesting to see how people with wide ranges of work to do can equally feel “busy.” Not that productivity is the only goal – but do I even want to feel busy? If I don’t really have a lot that I HAVE to do, do I still let myself turn it and other non-work into a list of projects and become busy because I can and feel I should? Or can I shift my perception and feel relaxed about time. And maybe also drop some of the not-essential things I feel I must do?
Yesterday I had a series of errands to run, some of which were fun and social. I had to slow myself down and let go of stress about how long things were taking. Just enjoy the time while I’m doing it.
So, clearly, still not a handle on time. I just know I want to enjoy more with the time I have and feel comfortable with time – rather than stressed.