Alya’s 5 months old. It’s high time I reflect on core truths about being a mom, and my deepest vision of the type of mother I want to be. Here goes.
1. When I am with my child, I am present.
2. I respond to all aspects of her being with love and compassion – not judgment or frustration.
3. While I try to know her profoundly, I also look at her with awe and curiosity, always alive to the mystery of her reality.
4. In making parenting decisions and responding to her, I think about what will best help her grow into a loving, trusting, giving human. My ego gets shut out.
I think that’s more than enough to start with. And these points highlight my biggest struggles as a parent. In fact, to call them struggles is to make myself sound better than I am, since sometimes I don’t even try to achieve them. My occasional perfectionism and desire to get things done-done-done rather than BE in the moment are the biggest weaknesses I see in myself, and the major weaknesses in my parenting. I know a child is a chance to learn. I want to learn.
and just because I think I need to: some of my strengths.
1. Love love loving and affectionate with my daughter.
2. Trust her and listen to her – I respect her as a person and a communicator.
3. Willing to put in the time to be with her.
4. I’m aware that at some point (and continually) I need to balance doing for her and letting her do. I won’t always get it right, but I will work on it.