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# Kamilla Milligan

Read, write. Repeat.

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## Posts

- [Blog](https://kamillamilligan.com/?page_id=1289)
- [Fall poems](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2022/11/07/fall-poems/) - My daughter and I sometimes like to write poetry. Today, with the snow swirling, we settled in by the fire after our walk to put some words down. I'm enjoying the haiku form lately--what I know of it--and had a few ideas. FALL AIR Tiny snowflakes swirl stinging cheeks, nose, chin, ears-- Pink chilled November
- [Spring Fling writing](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2022/04/03/spring-fling-writing/) - Thank you to Kaitlyn and Ciara for creating this super fun writing contest. This story came as I lay in bed at night, hoping in vain to go back to sleep. THE FIRST FROG OF SPRING Winter had been snowy, cold, dark and long.Every day I asked Mom,“When will spring be here?” Every day she
- [Writing plans for 2022](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2022/04/03/writing-plans-for-2022/) - This winter break has, once again, been a time of reflection and refocusing on my writing goals. I happened upon an excellent tweet thread by Jennifer Laughran: The best advice if you want to write for kids is, GO TO THE LIBRARY AND READ 100 BOOKS PUBLISHED IN YOUR CATEGORY IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS.
- [Hello world!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2021/12/24/hello-world/) - Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!
- [Heading out into the world](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2020/03/25/heading-out-into-the-world/) - Today was the first time I went somewhere (aside from a walk) since we started self-isolation a week ago. And boy, was it a big outing! There were some things I needed to do, and I was able to bundle them into one trip. It was not comfortable being out and going places. I'm glad
- [So how is your apocalypse fantasy playing out?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2020/03/24/so-how-is-your-apocalypse-fantasy-playing-out/) - Though I'm not proud of it, I have felt a thrill contemplating life in a time of disaster. The scenario involves a homesteady home, a capable and loving partner with survival smarts, a luxurious garden, and lots of books. And yarn. And, of course, internet, because if we're bunking down in our homestead, struggling to
- [Ready for isolation weekend](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2020/03/21/ready-for-isolation-weekend/) - I am worn out ... the information overload from this week is taking its toll. So glad for Friday night, and the weekend. Some random thoughts from the week: Is anyone else starting a list of things to do and get, urgently, once this is past? The list is on my desk, and I'm ready
- [Week one of our confinement* (photos to come)](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2020/03/21/week-one-of-our-confinement-photos-to-come/) - Let's start with the Before. We were in Vancouver for a few days during Daughter's spring break. We saw many beautiful, educational things, at at the Naam twice (she fell in love with their vegan Caesar salad) and got some glorious outdoor time. And we were very aware of what was happening around us. We
- [Get your kids to harvest: Seed saving with my daughter](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2019/07/25/get-your-kids-to-harvest-seed-saving-with-my-daughter/) - Ever since I taught courses on environmental geography, I've been deeply appreciative of the deeply subversive, transformative, connective power of saving seeds. Seeds are such miracles. Varying in size and colour, some with common features while others are distinctive, containing the pattern for entire plants: stem, leaves, roots, flowers, fruit ... all in this speck.
- [First, clean it all out. Decluttering adventures restarted](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2019/07/24/first-clean-it-all-out-decluttering-adventures-restarted/) - Things I am trying to accept about myself: I can't think if there is mess around me. I wish I could power through, but no. Thinking is really important. There are many, many things I want to do. I've been trying to get to them for months. That I haven't is down to many things,
- [MOO](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2019/01/06/1133-2/) - (from 2015) Driving around doing errands this afternoon, I brashly asked my daughter if there was anything she felt like doing. There was: Energyplex, the play gym at the north side of the city. We haven't used our membership in a while, and with her love of climbing, she's been itching to go. I raised a
- [A Year in Books: 2017](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2019/01/01/2018-12-29-a-year-in-books-2017/) - You are correct. It is 2018, and the list I ought to be posting is of books I’ve read this past year. However, 2017 was also an amazing year of reading, so I’m going to jumpstart this blog restart with going back a year. If I find the enthusiasm, I may even tackle 2016 (no
- [Starting Again](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2018/12/30/2018-12-29-starting-again/) - Three years. It’s been three years since I last posted on this blog. What have I been doing since then? Let’s see. Moving to an island. Starting up a full-time job …
- [A Year in Books: 2015](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2016/03/07/2016-2-15-a-year-in-books-2015/) - Mmm, books. I'm sure many of you feel the same way. Books are delicious, enticing, engrossing, and essential not just to pleasure but survival. I've been keeping a record of the books I read since 2005. I used to write comments, and now it's just title & author & type ... but that's enough to
- [Snippety Snip](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2016/01/04/2016-1-1-snippety-snip/) - Starting in the summer, I felt the urge to experience the glorious crispness of scissors slicing through my hair. In the past I've experimented on other people's hair, with the results ranging from bad to mediocre. Poor results did not dim my enthusiasm. The need to take scissors to my hair was a visceral as well
- [NaNo Results Here](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2015/11/30/2015-11-29-nano-results-here/) - Screen shot from my final day of writing. I did it. I NaNo'd and won. Winning, for those new to NaNo, is an individual accomplishment of writing 50,000+ words during the month of November.* I pulled an idea from my folder and played around with it, putting together a rough plot outline in the last few
- [MOO](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2015/11/07/2015-11-7-moo/) - Driving around doing errands one recent afternoon afternoon, I brashly asked my daughter if there was anything she felt like doing. There was: Energyplex, the play gym at the far end of the city. We haven’t used our membership in a while, and with her love of climbing, she’s been itching to go. I raised
- [Renewal](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2015/07/19/2015-7-18-renewal/) - It has not been a time of peaceful reflection. It has been a time of running circles through alternate futures, constant debating over where to go and what to do, until we're exhausted, arguing and sick of thinking about it. What to do? We went on a trip. The idea came less than week before
- [The Dishwasher Cycle](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2015/06/24/2015-06-24-the-dishwasher-cycle/) - Mmm, clean dishes! Back into place you go, all steamy and sterile. Beautiful ... shelves full, dishwasher empty. Beautifully full, beautifully empty, the promise of days of dishes to enjoy. Oh, here's a few dirty ones on the counter. Slide you into place ... perfect! Still lots of room in here. All surfaces clean, so
- [No Control at All](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/10/20/2014-10-20-no-control-at-all/) - I am unable to make my daughter do what I want. Given my perspectives on parenting, I would have thought I would understand this by now, and, in fact, would not WANT to control her. No. I still, at times, want to make her do what I know she needs to do. Starting Sunday, she
- [Deep thinking about simple ideas](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/10/16/2014-10-16-deep-thinking-about-simple-ideas/) - Transitions enable change. Does that mean that a month in a hotel could jump-start my new life? We are out of our condo for at least three weeks owing to water damage from above. Note to any potential thieves, all (ALL!) our possessions have been moved off-site for the reno. We packed up kitchen, bathroom, clothes, office
- [Our Brief Flirtation with Cable TV](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/10/12/2014-10-12-our-brief-flirtation-with-cable-tv/) - They called in the evening and my husband spoke with them. Unexpectedly, he didn't hang up immediately but spoke with them and then asked me: "Do we want cable for $4 per month?" I paused. My higher self said no. Then a vision floated before my eyes: approaching winter, empty evenings, couch bliss. While I don't watch
- [And I left her](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/09/16/2014-09-16-and-i-left-her/) - Listening to your child can be really, really hard. There aren't many healthy examples of taking the time to hear what kids say, and then trusting what they say. And of course, it is entirely possible to go too far with this (i.e., my daughter doesn't need chick pea cookies for every meal. Yes, I mean
- [Signtunity](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/08/20/2014-08-20-signtunity/) - Embracing polysemy, I declare this upcoming workshop to be both a sign and a problem, thus making it an opportunity:To figure out what I really want to do To face my fear over professional failure To push myself To make time for myself To practice just getting things done and moving forward. After realizing how
- [Procrastination: Problem or Sign?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/08/14/2014-08-14-procrastination-problem-or-sign/) - I don't want to work. At least, I don't want to work on a project for my business. I applied to do this workshop months ago, and assumed that by late August I'd have the energy and enthusiasm to pull it off. I've had a couple of months of just family time, caring for my
- [Stormy Weather](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/08/13/2014-08-13-stormy-weather/) - What is it about overcast skies that makes me so hopeful, in such a particular way? Pushing baby on the swing in the park today, watching the trees glow in reflected light, I felt invigorated as I considered the direction my life might go. The direction is inwards, homewards, family-wards. I thought about home schooling
- [Buying stolen goods](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/07/23/2014-07-23-buying-stolen-goods/) - Have you ever bought a stolen cell phone? Donated money to a genocidal group? Moved into someone's home and taken over? Husband and I are debating how to invest our money for our family's future. We are struggling to figure out options that will provide us with needed income as we age, as well as
- [Why the sarcasm?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/04/20/2014-04-20-why-the-sarcasm/) - Wandering around town today with family, we ended up at Chapters. And daughter and I ended up in the teacup, reading books. One might think that reading new, popular children's books would be an illuminating, inspiring, high-quality experience. But no. I find myself saddened by the negativity, self-consciousness and sarcasm found in many (not all!)
- [Allergic to Activities](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/04/11/2014-04-11-allergic-to-activities/) - Let's say you told me, I'd like you to commit to being at this particular place at this particular time once each week. Get your daughter there, on time, dressed in appropriate clothing, with a bag packed with a healthy snack, drink, change of clothes. The activities will be good for her, I promise, even
- [Smartie-cakes Cutie](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/02/28/2014-02-28-smartie-cakes-cutie/) - Daughter's favourite - FAVOURITE - activity is wrapping presents. "Presents" = anything, particularly random pieces of paper, loose office supplies, balloons or small toys. Tonight she said (for the 4th or 5th time today), "I want to wrap some presents!" Attempting to postpone the inevitable, I asked her what kind of present she wanted to
- [Living with less](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/02/13/2014-02-13-living-with-less/) - As we go through a family conversation about what we're doing and how we want to live our lives, my spouse and I are also taking time for our favourite activity: decluttering. Unfortunately, we're stalled part-way through the process with piles of cardboard boxes, stacks of stuff, and half-filled give-away boxes all over. We've been
- [Bye bye, Ballet](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/02/03/2014-02-03-bye-bye-ballet/) - Like all good mothers, I enrolled our daughter in ballet recently. She was so excited! Dance slippers, tutus, a dance class (no, wait: "ballet class, not dance class!") with a teacher. So what went wrong? The teacher didn't do enough to bring our quiet child into the classroom. She was always at back of the
- [Effective Values Transfer](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/29/2014-01-29-effective-values-transfer/) - We were doing our nightly bedtime routine, which lately transitions from um-nums and a books to um-nums and stories about when we were small. Husband started a story about an encounter with a bully when he was a kid, and how he learned that boy behaved that way because he wasn't treated well at home.
- [Not a reading year](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/17/2014-01-17-not-a-reading-year/) - Not yet 3 weeks in, I've realized that this is not a reading year. Last year was a reading year. I read a lot. I escaped a lot. I imagined, roamed, learned, mentally edited, and gobbled a lot of books. I have a strong feeling that this year is a doing year. Oh, I'll still
- [New maturity](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/15/2014-01-15-new-maturity/) - Watching your baby become a person is astonishing, magical, inspiring, and hilarious. "I can't do anything else, Uncle Nas. I'm peeling an egg." As she peels an egg. Also: "reading" a book tonight - she flipped through and recited almost all the words to one of her Babybug magazines. We've only read it maybe 3
- [A couple good things](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/14/2014-01-14-a-couple-good-things/) - The full-looking moon through the clouds as I picked up my daughter Time to grocery shop Yummy dinner A girl asleep by 7:15
- [why I shouldn't blog anymore](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/13/2014-01-13-why-i-shouldnt-blog-anymore/) - Today I started my self-employment course. It is going to be wonderfully exciting. Custom designing my own business! What could be more fun? We talked about the importance of online reputation (not new information), and I realized with a sigh that what I put up on facebook is going to be connected with my business.
- [Life, next phase](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/12/2014-01-12-life-next-phase/) - Tomorrow I start a month-long course to help me develop my own business. I have spent the past couple of weeks kind of dreading it, for a couple of reasons. First, the hours. Full time! I haven't done full time in years. No, wait ... I've been doing MORE than full time with my child
- [Showing your mess](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/11/2014-01-11-showing-your-mess/) - I like a clean house. I like it for myself and my child. I like it for guests. If someone's coming over, I WILL clean up (maybe not hugely, but at least a bit). It's not so much about being judged as it is liking to welcome people into a clean, attractive space. Leaving aside
- [Preschool Options](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/10/2014-01-10-preschool-options/) - Today I made a first visit to a local Montessori school to check it out as a possible preschool for our girl. I liked it a lot. Great location out of the city. Teachers seem good. And the assortment of amazing educational materials (if you've been in a Montessori classroom, you know what I mean!)
- [My biases in the children's literature genre](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/09/2014-01-09-my-biases-in-the-childrens-literature-genre/) - As I mentioned yesterday, there are things I love and things I don't in children's books. Here are a few of these: Don't like: Counting books (usually too didactic & repetitive) Books that try to teach (colours, numbers, pretty much anything), particularly the authorless "educational" ones like Baby Einstein ... shudder Sarcasm and adult humour
- [What does it mean to commit to writing?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/08/2014-01-08-what-does-it-mean-to-commit-to-writing/) - Those of you who are really lovely loyal friends may have noticed that I've been blogging every day so far in 2014. That's because I am determined to write every day, and blogging is a great way to do that. However, those of you who are so very nice may also have noticed that some
- [Re-celebrating Target](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/07/2014-01-07-re-celebrating-target/) - (with thanks to Annie for the idea). As I am in full make-over mode, today I set out to follow through on the shopping list I created yesterday. You know how sometimes, you make a list of things you need and you never really buy them because you can't figure out exactly what to buy,
- [Personal Renewal](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/06/2014-01-06-personal-renewal/) - I'm in the middle of a mid-winter, life-is-changing, condo-is-a-mess, I've-been-unemployed-for-over-6-months revitalization binge. One thing that absolutely must happen as part of this process is a personal makeover. Fear not: this does not mean that I will start wearing make-up! Or even heels. However, it's time for a clean-out, clean-up and freshen-up. For the past week,
- [Things I've learned from looking back](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/06/2014-01-06-things-ive-learned-from-looking-back/) - I recently happened on a long document (185 pp.) consisting of emails I wrote when I was in grad school in Virginia. It's quite a trip going back and remembering the people, experiences and emotions of my youth. Some reflections as I look back on late 20s/ early 30s: in other ways I'm relieved to
- [Dreams for 2014](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/04/2014-01-04-dreams-for-2014/) - Today we celebrated my dad's birthday (yay dad!) with a dinner at my parents' home. We made an attempt to go around the table and share what our expectations or hopes were for the year. We talked about prosperity and environmental destruction, flying cars and change. Our daughter announced that the year is going to
- [A brief moment of parenting nirvana](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/03/2014-01-03-a-brief-moment-of-parenting-nirvana/) - It doesn't happen often, but once in a while, things just go right. I had a meeting today in someone's home and decided to bring our girl. It was my first attempt to work with her there (and no back-up!). I knew things could get kind of wild. She was dressed in her ballet outfit
- [Why writing?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/02/2014-01-02-why-writing/) - I made two new year's resolutions. The first: to write. I know that I need to flesh these out a bit, so here I go with writing: I remember when I was younger - probably a teenager - and an adult I knew asked me if, given all the reading I did, I wanted to
- [2013: A Year in Books](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2014/01/01/2014-01-01-2013-a-year-in-books/) - This year, I read a lot and loved it. Reading gave me insights into health, finances, parenting and children's education. It exposed me to different ways of looking at the world. It expanded my empathy and understanding of what life might be like for those who grew up in different circumstances than I did. And
- [Oh elusive balance](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/11/05/2013-11-05-oh-elusive-balance/) - I wanted to write about being a stay at home mom, but today I don't think I can. Why? Because I'm not sure if I am one. The summer months, while I was on salary continuance, I was supposed to be looking for work and developing business ideas. Because I'm obsessive like that (to do
- [Recovering from book guilt](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/10/08/2013-10-08-recovering-from-book-guilt/) - For a book lover (addict?), few things can be harder than admitting you don't have time to read all the books you want to. I don't, and it needs to change. I've had a pile of great library books come in, along with a trip out of town, work on my business, a bit of
- [And she's off!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/10/07/2013-10-07-and-shes-off/) - We have been trying for a long time to find social outlets for our girl. Basically, I mainly fail at finding mom friends (big thanks to those I do have!!). And our girl can take a while to warm up. She is amazingly fun, funny, happy and energetic around the loving adults in her life.
- [Gender Roles](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/09/27/2013-09-27-gender-roles/) - Baby & I were just reading He Bear, She Bear - a Berenstein Bears' look at gender and gender roles in a "learn to read" format (my thoughts on graded, leveled and easy-read books are another post). I appreciate the authors' attempt (c. 1974) to open up work possibilities for women by emphasizing how anyone
- [What's in a name?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/09/20/2013-09-20-whats-in-a-name/) - I grew up different in a community that wasn't very open to it. Part of my difference was my name - specifically my last name. While some friends have commented over the years how much they like it, it has never been a name I liked. It's very Canadianized, lacking any of the fun of
- [Breastfeeding when others are shocked](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/08/06/2013-08-06-breastfeeding-when-others-are-shocked/) - This post is part of Mothering's "Blog about Breastfeeding" event (http://www.mothering.com/community/a/blog-about-breastfeeding-and-win). I've been proudly and enjoyably breastfeeding my child for almost 34 months. After a slow start, I've been thrilled to provide this amazing food for her into her toddler years. After initial embarrassment and some questions about my public and ongoing breastfeeding, the vast
- [Respecting the process](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/07/27/2013-07-27-respecting-the-process/) - We went to the market today, and baby saw the bouncy castles. We had checked them out before but she wasn't ready. Today, she said she wanted to go in. I paid, she took off her shoes, and then asked me to hold her. And we stood there. We looked in. She talked about it.
- [On the road with a little](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/07/17/2013-07-17-on-the-road-with-a-little/) - Friends, I am about to be a published writer. On Tuesday night at around midnight, just before we headed out on our vacation, I sent an inquiry to a local magazine asking if they might be interested in my writing for their next annual issue. I didn't know when it was to be published; in
- [Parenting Win: Thank Yous](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/07/16/2013-07-16-parenting-win-thank-yous/) - So, as parents, we don't always make the best choices, but I think we've found one that works. We don't make our daughter say thank you. Or please. Or "sorry." Following from my beloved Alfie Kohn, we don't push her to say anything that she doesn't feel authentically. We want her to mean what she
- [Pre-Travel Angst](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/07/10/2013-07-10-pre-travel-angst/) - I can't avoid it. WHY??? We head on vacation tomorrow. Yay!!! Vancouver, then San Francisco. Totally spontaneous, one of the major benefits of my unemployment + airmiles. And we thought we were on top of things. Totally! We were wrapping stuff up. We wouldn't over-do it. We were almost packed. We would have all day
- [Staying Home](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/07/06/2013-07-06-staying-home/) - I'm now heading into well over one month as a stay-at-home parent. I don't want to comment on whether it's going well or not, but here are some things I've noticed. I generally love it. And Alya seems to as well. Not setting an alarm clock = totally wonderful Not having to make/pack lunches +
- [The Dentist ...](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/07/03/2013-07-03-the-dentist/) - Alya's first trip to the dentist today left me with a bad taste in my mouth. She doesn't like invasions of her personal space. At all. She has put restrictions on kissing and hugging, even by her parents, and we do our best to respect that and inform other people about it (i.e., "Alya doesn't
- [Can you lean in if you're over 40?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/06/12/2013-06-12-can-you-lean-in-if-youre-over-40/) - I just finished "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg yesterday and was pleasantly inspired by it. I had heard a few things that made me think I might not like it (perspectives on children, HR practices, an emphasis on careerism at the expense of family). My reading was a good reminder not to rely on the
- [Clarification and Update](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/06/05/2013-06-05-clarification-and-update/) - After some comments from friends and family, I realized that I probably should clarify one important point in my last post. I guess I was not 100% honest with you, my wonderful readers. I wasn't fired. I was terminated. Or rather, my position was eliminated and my employment with the university was terminated as a
- [Taking the Faith Challenge](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/05/31/2013-05-31-taking-the-faith-challenge/) - Earlier this week I had a miscarriage. Yesterday I was fired. It hardly seems worth adding that they found 2 cavities at my dentist appointment. It is a lot in a short time, and I'm a bit amazed that I'm still standing. But I am, and smiling, and kind of excited about the future. I
- [Hoffy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/05/20/2013-05-20-hoffy/) - Post dictated by my daughter\- Notty tickty mittmee kit mip me. Yeth. Heyyo. And "I love you" and "my mup moo" and "si sup soo" and "dai dup doo" and "Nai nup noo" and "sai sup." Eee. For A. E for A. E for A. E for A. E for A. E for A. E
- [On closing the circle](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/05/03/2013-05-03-on-closing-the-circle/) - Pleasantly, I received a fair bit of positive feedback for my "intervention" the other day. I was thanked and congratulated, and actually got an email from the presenter reiterating her appreciation for my intervention and "solidarity." I also saw the villain in this scenario again, on the second day of the conference. He seemed to
- [It's official: I am a weirdo](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/05/01/2013-05-01-its-official-i-am-a-weirdo/) - Have you ever done something big and dramatic and embarrassing and public? And laughed at yourself? And realized with a soft smile of acceptance that it's a pretty good commentary on your true self, while still shaking your head at your weirdness? Today I was in a workshop at a teaching and learning conference. The
- [Major Developments](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/04/18/2013-04-18-major-developments/) - Our family is moving through two major developmental developments this past week:1) We have stopped supplementing baby or using bottles. 2) She is now almost entirely diaper-free. I know! Major changes! We've supplemented practically since she was born since I simply could not make enough milk (yes, I tried everything). Since I believe in nursing
- [Mom Struggles](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/03/29/2013-03-29-mom-struggles/) - Being a mother is hard. It has joy, definitely, and is the best thing in the world, and maybe that's why it's a never ending project. Children keep growing; needs keep changing; personal circumstances keep evolving, and with each change, the intensity continues. I had a small mothering shift a couple of weeks ago. I
- [Grammatical Notes](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/02/09/2013-02-09-grammatical-notes/) - Dear writers and editors: Please note that there is no such word as "wallah" (alt. sp. walla, wala). The word you are looking for is "voilà." Voilà means "Check out this thing I'm showing you here." In case it helps you remember, I'm going to take a stab with my limited French and guess that
- [Dealing with materialism](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/01/25/2013-01-25-dealing-with-materialism/) - I'm shocked sometimes how much I can be thrown off balance by loss of or damage to my possessions. I've always tried to cultivate a spiritual outlook on life, recognizing that material things are temporary and not the foundation of happiness or well-being. I have, at times, lost things and let them go without a
- [My Goldilocks Bag](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2013/01/11/2013-01-11-my-goldilocks-bag/) - I'm on the hunt again, and I blame my husband. I've been perfectly content with my current purse for almost a year. It's a compact nylon bag by Karst with room for all my cards, money and small items. It fits neatly into a larger bag, and carries easily over my shoulder. Fully functional, though
- [A year in reading: 2012 Review](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/12/30/2012-12-30-a-year-in-reading-2012-review/) - Oh, books. Oh, yearly reviews. What fun things to bring together! Here's a quick summary of my 2012 reading. Who: me. Mother to a toddler, employee, helped facilitate a renovation and a move. When: whenever a few minutes were available. I read while eating, while baby napped, while walking to and from my car at
- [Christmas fantasy vs. reality](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/12/27/2012-12-27-christmas-fantasy-vs-reality/) - Ahh, Christmas. Though I don't celebrate it, I do love it, and I think this is why: Christmas brings magic into my life. Christmas is soft snow falling, cocooning at home. Gorgeous seasonal decorations and light. Delicious food, snacks, drinks. Time! Time off, time with family, time with friends, time to reflect. Lovely music, feel-good
- [Why I wish I were a visual artist](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/12/15/2012-12-15-why-i-wish-i-were-a-visual-artist/) - I've wanted to be a writer for a long, long time. At first, I thought the only "real" books were fiction, so that's what I wanted to write. Then I realized that I really wasn't good at fiction writing, and I really loved facts and narratives, so I thought something social or instructional or travel-oriented
- [Vacation Day 1](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/12/15/2012-12-15-vacation-day-1/) - I've been working hard. So has Husband. Our house was messy. We were tired. Home-made meals were thrown together at 7:00 at night once we were both home from work. It wasn't that pretty. Yesterday was Day 1 of my winter break. And oh - what a difference! I woke up ... happy! And late
- [Bittersweet](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/12/09/2012-12-09-bittersweet/) - Today I had a surprise phone call from some friends I haven't seen in a while ... maybe 1.5 years. I used to work with the man, and he and his partner have a baby just a few weeks younger than our girl. We've been meaning to catch up, so they called, and we did.
- [You know you're a reader when ...](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/12/08/2012-12-08-you-know-youre-a-reader-when/) - I've always been a reader. My dad talks about how he'd come home from work exhausted when I was a toddler and I'd run up to him with piles of books. And demand that he read them, over and over and over .... And of course there were the many reading anecdotes from childhood and
- [Blissfully Dry Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/11/18/2012-11-18-blissfully-dry-day/) - Today, baby went the whole day diaper free with all pees landing in the potty. That is, not one spill to clean up. Even during nap. What a wonderful oasis of hope in the midst of my potty learning stress! Yesterday didn't go so well. She peed on the potty a couple times in the
- [What I'd tell a pregnant friend](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/10/29/2012-10-29-what-id-tell-a-pregnant-friend/) - Recently got news about the pregnancy of two friends. I'm thrilled for them, and also wondering when - if at all - I'll be invited to talk all things pregnancy, birth and post-birth with them. Compared to my earlier evangelism, I recognize more clearly now that my way isn't always right, that I have gaps
- [Typical Evening](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/10/22/2012-10-22-typical-evening-2/) - Today was a typical evening of late. Left work around 5:15, later than I wanted, after rushing through a few final emails and printing off some documents to review tonight for a presentation tomorrow. Forget the documents on the printer. Read my latest book while walking to the car (The Know-it-all by A.J. Jacobs). Have
- [Regret](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/10/19/2012-10-19-regret/) - Wow. I just wrote a post on regret that I really liked. It expressed what I am feeling right now, what I'm learning, and how I'm moving forward. And then, guess what? I lost it. Want to know what I regret right now?
- [Regrets](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/10/19/2012-10-19-regrets/) - Oh, heaven bless autosave. Here is the other post. ************************** Lately I am besieged with regrets. I know: how pointless! But what can you do? I'm familiar with the truism that we tend to regret that which we haven't done, not that which we have. I've been reflecting on the things I currently regret. A
- [Simple Pleasures](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/10/12/2012-10-12-simple-pleasures/) - Life is very hectic right now. I frequently feel that I'm at my limit. Outside this, there are moments of sheer delight. Sitting at the kitchen table last night, doing some reading for work. Baby sitting beside me with a newspaper, "write, write, write" and rearranging pens in rows and rows. Lying in bed half
- [Colonialism & Kids' Lit](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/09/30/2012-09-30-colonialism-kids-lit/) - This weekend baby wanted to go to "boopthtoh" (bookstore) to buy some "boopth." How could I say no? We started with the Rutland Auxiliary Thrift "Bookstore" and sat in the back for about half an hour, reading books. The next day we went to the Value Village "Bookstore" - and let me tell you, she
- [Take 2](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/09/25/2012-09-25-take-2/) - Well, wouldn't you know it. No sooner do I declare my plan for enhancing interview performance than an opportunity appears. I had a phone message from the local TV station asking if they could interview me for a piece on the posters. After checking again with my supervisor (very supportive) I said yes. However, unlike
- [On Speaking Out Effectively](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/09/23/2012-09-23-on-speaking-out-effectively/) - I'm enjoying the book Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin. In sum: talent does not exist. People excel through "deliberate practice": hard, focused work on key skills that stretch their growth, repeated with feedback for a lot of hours; followed by similar work on the next set of skills to extend their growth. It is
- [Change and Nesting](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/09/18/2012-09-18-change-and-nesting/) - Baby seems to be picking up on the big transition we're going through with our move. She's had some ridiculously late nights. She really, really doesn't want to leave the house most weekends. And she wants her parents around more than we're able to do. She woke up the other night with a repeated cry
- [Baby, what do you want now?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/09/02/2012-09-02-baby-what-do-you-want-now/) - Yesterday was a lesson in digging below my irritation at baby's choices to understand what might be going on in her world. It was a chance to put aside my own need for control and be a parent who meets her child's needs. Yesterday, baby did not want to leave the house. At all. I
- [Montessori Inspiration](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/08/28/2012-08-28-montessori-inspiration/) - In pursuit of a parenting and educational direction for our girl, I've just started reading "The Child in the Family" by Maria Montessori. I am the most engrossed I've been in years by a technical non-fiction book. Her ideas feel respectful and wise. Here's one, regarding how we tend to interpret as misbehaviour childhood actions
- [Parental Paradigm Integration](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/08/24/2012-08-24-parental-paradigm-integration/) - I'm all about the paradigms. I like to have a model, masterplan or general theory to guide pretty much anything I do. So when it comes to parenting, I've been both amazed at how untheoretical (i.e., random) I am in my approach, and also eager to apply something that I can believe in (i.e., attachment
- [The first, faint breath of autumn](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/08/21/2012-08-21-the-first-faint-breath-of-autumn/) - Leaving the house the other morning I felt something I haven't felt in a long time: a slight coolness in the air. The very first sign of fall. Though the day warmed up to the mid-30s, the morning temperature gave away the approaching change of seasons. I have mixed feelings about fall this year. To
- [Second Literary Reference](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/08/19/2012-08-19-second-literary-reference/) - Driving home tonight from a visit to my brother-in-law and kids who are camping for the weekend. A fun evening with swimming in the lake! Baby's happy in the back seat, talking about what we're doing. "Go to town. In town." Yes, we're going into town! "Go to town in bed." That's right! We'll go
- [Blessed Weekend](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/08/16/2012-08-16-blessed-weekend/) - The weekend is here! The weekend is here! Oh, I could use a weekend.Life has felt crazy lately. Husband is renovating morning and night. Baby was sick and I was sick. Packing needs to happen, though it isn't; renovations require my input and shopping skills. And school starts up in a couple of weeks and
- [My Baby, Yet again](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/08/15/2012-08-15-my-baby-yet-again/) - Real sentences, people! To her cousin: "Mitchoo, come to tabuh and eat" About her clothes: "Look new outfit A'ya!" After pronouncing her hands "dirty" when she's been digging into her purple crayon, and I ask her "Why are your hands dirty?" "Because put poopuh on hands A'ya!" About the bees: "Bees make honey for A'ya!"
- [The Heartbreaking Beauty of Babies](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/08/07/2012-08-07-the-heartbreaking-beauty-of-babies/) - The things babies say and do are so beautiful and pure that my heart cracks. Where do these lovely people come from? Baby & I were trying to go down for a nap as she rolled around the bed and on top of me. After putting her head on my chest, I asked her if
- [Baby Speak](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/31/2012-07-31-baby-speak/) - Resisting the idea of a bath last night: "Already all clean!" while swiping a hand across her chest. On passing a yellow car on the road to work this morning: "Mo yayo 'side mama A'ya" Resisting my offer of avocado or other food: "Date! Mo Date!" Colouring in her colouring book last night: "I do
- [Joys of the Blueberry Patch](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/29/2012-07-29-joys-of-the-blueberry-patch/) - Saturday morning, baby and I met my parents at 7:50 in the morning to pick blueberries. It's the third year baby has been to this spot to pick berries. The first year, I was pregnant, getting ready for mat leave, and tired. I was also looking ahead to a winter of smoothies, and couldn't fathom
- [Sophisticated Humour](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/29/2012-07-29-sophisticated-humour/) - When I was young I liked to read comics. My favourites were Peanuts - I must have had 50 - 100, and I read them repeatedly. I think the appeal was escaping into a contained, idealized world where the seasons rolled round regularly, there was community, people played together, worked together and did identifiable fun
- [New Game](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/23/2012-07-23-new-game/) - "Fine me, fine me!" baby was asking for a few days before I figured out she wanted to play hide and seek. She runs into one of her favourite corners of the room and stands, back to the wall, a shy, proud, excited smile on her face. I wander the basement, calling her name and
- [Parenting genius](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/23/2012-07-23-parenting-genius/) - The other day my daughter was a bit grumpy because she dropped her straw in the potty and I insisted we had to throw it out (they may be low, but I have standards). Potty took so long that I forgot the warming peanut butter toast in the toaster oven - oops! Too hot, and
- [Baby Connect](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/20/2012-07-20-baby-connect/) - Wow, what an amazing baby day. Okay, I was near my edge a couple of times when she dumped out her food and it took over an hour to leave the house ... but a full day of intense time with her leaves me loving her more and more, and feeling more fully in the
- [Passion vs. Attraction](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/20/2012-07-20-passion-vs-attraction/) - I've been thinking about the work I do and the things I fantasize about, and how they do and don't line up, and whether they should. I don't think they need to. As evidenced by what I write and read about, I am passionate about: decluttering; personal finance; how amazing my baby is; breastfeeding and
- [Room for All](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/18/2012-07-18-room-for-all/) - I was thinking today about some of the different blogs I read, and all the great writers out there. I quite love my list of links right now, by the way - all so interesting and perfectly inspiring and engrossing! Thank you for sharing your writing with me. In any case, many of these bloggers
- [5  (or so) words to describe my husband](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/17/2012-07-17-5-or-so-words-to-describe-my-husband/) - HotSensitive Reflective Loving Transformation-oriented
- [Approximately 365](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/16/2012-07-16-approximately-365/) - I cannot believe that I started this blogging project a year ago. Impossible!! One day I up and decided to write daily for an entire year. Well, here's a brief overview of the experience. What I learned: I like writing and expressing myself. This was a great way to do that. I can write daily
- [Potty Success](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/15/2012-07-15-potty-success/) - After despairing that my daughter wouldn't learn to use the potty until she was at least 4, I calmed down and have been excited to see how a more relaxed attitude, clear communication and lots of opportunities are getting her onto the potty much more than before. I've taken a more directive approach to her
- [Breastfeeding is more important than Sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/14/2012-07-14-breastfeeding-is-more-important-than-sleep/) - At least, that's my assessment of my own values after a recent nighttime incident. Baby had fallen asleep at 9ish. It had been a long, late week and I was completely wiped. After mad computer work for a few hours, I finally crashed a bit before midnight. When I woke, I wasn't sure where I
- [Best Smoothie Ever](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/14/2012-07-14-best-smoothie-ever/) - 'tis the season for blending up yummy drinks at home. We had this for breakfast the other day and baby and I devoured it! Husband isn't as much of a fan of nutty drinks. Oh well, more for us! Frozen bananas Yogurt (the thick kind!) Ripe avocado Hemp Almond milk Coconut milk Peanut butter Yum!
- [Meetingville](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/11/2012-07-11-meetingville/) - Work this week has been pretty meeting intense. I ran between 3 different ones today in the middle of the day, and had 2 others as well. Other weeks are so slow that I have to carefully plot out my time in the office to keep myself on task and things moving forward. Umm ...
- [One More Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/08/2012-07-08-one-more-day/) - Today is another day off for me. It's a Baha'i holy day, so I won't be at work. I also won't be at the celebration since it's scheduled in the middle of the day when baby naps. However, I will be visiting a friend, getting my wedding ring resized, and doing some banking work. Plus
- [Why nursing rocks: A toddler's perspective](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/07/2012-07-07-why-nursing-rocks-a-toddlers-perspective/) - As I was nursing baby the other day, I commented to her on how much she is wanting to nurse lately. She is on and off of my breasts a LOT. One of her new favourite things is "two ope" (two open - i.e., both breasts out and uncovered). She loves to be able to
- ['fessing up: Real Estate Roller-coaster](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/04/2012-07-04-fessing-up-real-estate-roller-coaster/) - It's been a bit of a wild week emotionally speaking. I've been full of adrenalin, barely sleeping, running on fumes, not hungry, and constantly full of nervous energy. What's up, you ask? I've fallen in love. With a condo. Fortunately, so has my husband. We have been looking to get out of our house and
- [New Toddler Growth](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/02/2012-07-02-new-toddler-growth/) - New things happening here as our girl approaches 2! We've been doing lots more diaper-free time. She now sometimes alerts us and gets to the potty on time. Yay! And sometimes, she'll stand and pee on the floor right beside the potty. I am trying to focus on being encouraged that she is making the
- [Family Love](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/07/01/2012-07-01-family-love/) - Today I really appreciate my family. My parents who are supportive, encouraging, and love to be with us. My sister and her family, who are sweet and fun and good people. My brothers, whom I simply love very much and who are amazing people. My husband, who is loving and sweet and kind and always
- [Counting to 4 ... or 9?!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/30/2012-06-30-counting-to-4-or-9/) - When baby had her morning bottle today, the nipple collapsed and she was covered with milk. So unpleasant!! So she and I got in a lovely morning bath together. Splashing, playing, nursing, the usual. One of our games had me pouring little cups of water into another container. I counted them, "1, 2, 3, 4,
- [Friends, food and sun](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/29/2012-06-29-friends-food-and-sun/) - Nice day! Walk downtown and errands with baby. Nap (baby, not me). Lunch. More family errands.Then a great visit from a friend, including another family walk to downtown, great baby playtime. Then friend cooked dinner! Chana masala. I made quinoa, she made a salad, we all ate. Baby loved it! Good conversation. And baby bed,
- [Bedtime?!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/28/2012-06-28-bedtime/) - Wow ... consistency may work! The new tentative routine is dinner at 6, bath at 6:30, bedroom/stories/nurse at 7. We've had her asleep at 7:45, 8:10 and 9:00 tonight. Tonight, we just started late, didn' get in until around 7. We discussed it and are going to work hard to keep to our plan, even
- [Slowly Emerging Self-Awareness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/27/2012-06-27-slowly-emerging-self-awareness/) - I've been wondering lately why I'm holding my breath, wanting to swear all the time, rushing everywhere, having a hard time concentrating at work and not enjoying life so much. I just figured it out over the past few days: I'm stressed! Amazing deduction; it only took weeks and weeks to get there. We're living
- [Sweet, Heartbreaking, Infuriating, Beautiful](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/26/2012-06-26-sweet-heartbreaking-infuriating-beautiful/) - My daughter is all these things, all the time. One of her latest expressions is "no bye." She really really doesn't like saying by to anyone or anything. When I leave in the mornings, it is heartbreaking to hear her little voice say "No bye, mama! No bye!" She seems allergic to sleep lately. Whatever
- [My daughter's first literary joke](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/24/2012-06-24-my-daughters-first-literary-joke/) - In the bath tonight, nursing, baby was in a bit of a playful mood. She took one finger and pointed right up at the roof, holding it there. "Are you pointing like the baby in the book?" I asked. She has a baby colour book and the baby in the white overalls points randomly up
- [Classic marital miscommunication](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/24/2012-06-24-classic-marital-miscommunication/) - A forgotten note from our ill-fated vacation. Just past Nelson, along a beautiful road, I spotted a classic American castle set back on the left-hand side of the road. It was stunning, and something I haven't seen a lot of. "Do you see that?" husband asked? "Yes!" "Should I pull over?" "Definitely!" He pulled into
- [Small things that are great](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/23/2012-06-23-small-things-that-are-great/) - A few very little things that bring undue goodness to my life. I think you could say they have happiness leverage. Apple corer. Used it for the first time tonight, and can't believe I never used it before! I love to make applesauce, and this magical little device - probably inherited from my grandma -
- [Endless Summer Nights](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/22/2012-06-22-endless-summer-nights/) - I used to love Richard Marx when I was in high school ... so poetic, romantic, great melodies ... aaah. Those endless summer nights he wrote about sounded so warm, romantic and dreamy, alone with a loved one, the evening stretching out for hours and hours .... Essentially, that's exactly what I'm getting to enjoy
- [Magical Evening Alone](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/22/2012-06-22-magical-evening-alone/) - What would you do if you had an entire evening to yourself? For some of you, this is not simply an elaborate fantasy: this is something you are lucky enough to choose on a regular basis! For others, this is something you try desperately to escape whenever possible. For another group, however, an evening to
- [Redeemed by Cuteness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/18/2012-06-18-redeemed-by-cuteness/) - Today at work, walking between buildings, I came across something low and moving and soft off to my right. It was the most awesome quail family I've ever seen. Mama, dada, and maybe 15 babies.You might have seen baby quail before. These were BABY quail. Utterly tiny and perfect, stepping back and forth and into
- [Regime Update](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/17/2012-06-17-regime-update/) - We're trying. Mornings can be a bit crazy. We basically missed a sit-down breakfast this morning because we were running out the door. But, I've been praying morning and evening more systematically and doing more regular/organized tooth brushing. Good! Also focusing on baby more. Once I started paying more attention to her, things started feeling
- [Parenting dilemma](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/15/2012-06-15-parenting-dilemma/) - Lately baby cries at everything I do. I thought I might be exaggerating or making this up until my husband commented that he's noticed this, too. Suggesting clothes; putting on diapers; offering food; doing anything myself; trying to get her into a bath, brushing her teeth, brushing her hair. And particularly trying to change or
- [Regime Change](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/14/2012-06-14-regime-change/) - Things are going to change around here.They have to. We've had too many late nights, too frequent crying baby, not enough good food, and insufficient progress towards our goals. Starting now: My new priorities. 1) Spirituality. Praying morning, evening + obligatory prayer each day. Doesn't have to be long. Does have to be focused and
- [Work Magic](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/12/2012-06-12-work-magic/) - Things have been happening at work. More things, harder things, faster things. Magic! I started being systematic with one productivity/anti-procrastination strategy of making a to-do list for the following day at the end of each workday. I've been taking time to do it - up to 15 minutes - as I work through my to
- [Why I H*** Broccoli](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/11/2012-06-11-why-i-h-broccoli/) - I really don't like broccoli. At all. I actively avoid buying it as a vegetable for our family. There's really only one reason why: it takes absolutely FOREVER to cut it up. The thing is, I really don't like the tough skin on the stalk. No matter how much you cook it, it's still this
- [Something funny with wordpress](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/11/2012-06-11-something-funny-with-wordpress/) - Hey everyone, something strange is up with Wordpress today. I went to my main page and my eye noticed a strange number on the top right of the screen: 539. As in, 539 followers.Now, that can't be. As of yesterday, I had 21 followers. However, it is an interesting mystery! I will keep you posted.
- [Another weekend gone](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/10/2012-06-10-another-weekend-gone/) - Over 300 posts, and just over a month until the 1-year mark of doing this blog. Wow indeed! I must say, my motivation for writing is low. Probably because time feels seriously compressed, energy is low, and other priorities loom larger. The weekend is gone. How? Lots of house cleaning and chores. Lots of time
- [Swinging between extremes](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/09/2012-06-09-swinging-between-extremes/) - Last night didn't go so well after all. Baby's 3rd wake-up was just before midnight when I went to bed. She was awake, and did not want to go back to sleep. There was much happy awakeness, much crying. We fed her, nursed, played, read books. The stand-off started when I wanted to lie down
- [Money and Babies](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/08/2012-06-08-money-and-babies/) - Two separate thoughts. Husband and I watched one of Dave Ramsey's finance videos tonight, and we're totally on board with actually getting on top of our finances. It is a great feeling to be tackling our money and future again, improving on what we're doing now. It's also wonderful and fortunate to have a partner
- [New things about baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/07/2012-06-07-new-things-about-baby/) - Amazed at the speed of change! She's stringing words together now. "Mama dada baby OUT!" "Ya mama no dada A'ya" "Mo yayo weee (more yellow slide)" We're doing a better job of figuring out what she means, too. She's very strategic with her use of yes and no! Bedtime has been really variable and generally
- [The Beauty of Religion](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/05/2012-06-05-the-beauty-of-religion/) - Lately I've been enjoying some blogs which explore aspects of Christianity and Christian life. Especially since living in the southern US I've appreciated the richness and diversity that can be found in Christian communities. One blog I've read has had some fun things lately - one link to editorial hilarity, and another to Christian singles
- [Parenting Priorities](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/03/2012-06-03-parenting-priorities/) - I just finished reading a really great book, and it's reminded me about what's really important in parenting: being there, trying and loving. The book, The Language of Flowers (Diffenbaugh) follows a young women through foster care and out into the world as she attempts to take care of herself and deal with some of
- [Bedtime insanity](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/06/02/2012-06-02-bedtime-insanity/) - Wow, 9:20 and crazy baby energy! It's been a week of late nights. I blame summer. The late sunsets hype all of us up. I lose track of time (and in any case, get home so late on weeknights), that I don't think of starting bed until 7, 8 or later. By then, baby has
- [Why do I bother?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/31/2012-05-31-why-do-i-bother/) - Yes, I'm a grumpy person lately. Just wrote a post, lost it, am not going to write another. Hope you all have a good night.
- [Bye bye, road trips; hello, life with baby!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/29/2012-05-29-bye-bye-road-trips-hello-life-with-baby/) - We are back from our trip. Thankfully back! This was our first "let's go and have fun! It's a vacation!" road trip since baby was born. It will be our last for a while. The good: we did get away. We saw friends. We saw beautiful mountains, lakes and rivers. The not so good: traveling
- [Vacation Madness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/18/2012-05-18-vacation-madness/) - We plan to head on vacation on Sunday. We are, therefore, in the midst of pre-vacation madness. Husband and I have never left on time for a trip. Our first trip together, I think we left a day and a half after our ETD. Somehow, all the different components (car preparation and repairs; packing for
- [Careening Towards 40](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/17/2012-05-17-careening-towards-40/) - It's been a bit of a wild week, as you may have guessed. Tuesday and Wednesday nights I crashed in bed with baby around 8:30. In spite of the early bedtime, Tuesday night wasn't a good sleep: baby was up every couple of hours. Last night, on the other hand, was magical. We all crashed
- [Watching Baby Grow](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/14/2012-05-14-watching-baby-grow/) - Every day, a new development. Today after work husband and I were talking as we helped baby play on her slide in the yard. Suddenly she started crying. We asked what's wrong and she cried harder. We guessed, "Did you want dada to play with you?" "Yeah!!" she sobbed. We both picked her up and
- [On time and motherhood](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/13/2012-05-13-on-time-and-motherhood/) - I've been noticing the last few days that I have a hard time slowing down and breathing. So often I find myself rushing to get places; holding my breath; making frantic lists in my head; all with the hopes of either getting back to be with my girl as quickly as possible, or maximizing the
- [Update on Shopping](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/12/2012-05-12-update-on-shopping/) - So, I've been shopping. And I'm okay with it. I find shopping a kind of fascinating topic, so here are my current thoughts on it.1. Shopping is addictive. Definitely. Now that I've been going to VV most Thursdays, I get an itch on Thursday afternoons to head out there. Good to be aware of -
- [Massive File Contraction](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/11/2012-05-11-massive-file-contraction/) - A few years ago, I had enough files to fill 3 drawers of a filing cabinet. I had stacks of journal articles from doing a master's, doctorate and numerous research projects. I had copies of talks, deepenings, activities and workshops I'd organized. I had piles of interesting or fun or informative articles to read on
- [Utter Personal Gluttony](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/10/2012-05-10-utter-personal-gluttony/) - On the way home from work today, I asked baby if she wanted to stop at the library or go home. She said "Yaaa!" to the library. Then I asked her if she wanted to go and play there, or just go in and out. "In ... aaaooo!" was her answer. So I parked in
- [Who wants to be rich?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/09/2012-05-09-who-wants-to-be-rich/) - Yes, that's right. I do. Do you? I've started reading "The Millionaire Next Door: The surprising secrets of America's wealthy" and am enjoying it a lot. When I asked my husband what he thought of me reading the book he asked, "Do they talk about being happy?" Yes, that's right, spiritual perspective from my husband,
- [Little Things](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/08/2012-05-08-little-things/) - This morning, baby really wanted to nurse and really didn't want to wear a diaper. Result: much sitting around, two big floor puddles, and late departure for work. I had a meeting that went long today and I found I was a bit late for yoga class. I almost didn't go. I was sorely tempted.
- [Choosing Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/07/2012-05-07-choosing-peace-2/) - Today I had an annoying phone conversation. I was told that, for purely administrative reasons which were incomprehensible to me, I needed to fill in yet another form to clear costs from the conference I attended in March. Apparently something was an advance, and something something else, something bla bla bla, use this code and
- [Grumpy Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/06/2012-05-06-grumpy-day/) - I don't know why, but I seemed to slip into a grump today, several times, for no apparent reason. The sun was shining; my family is fine; nothing really went wrong. Still, the grumps persisted. Blah. I wasn't feeling super patient with my girl this morning. I didn't really love going grocery shopping. Baby didn't
- [Brilliant discovery: Gmail tasks!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/06/2012-05-06-brilliant-discovery-gmail-tasks/) - My life will be revolutionized through my recent discovery of the task option in gmail! I am constantly managing to do list. Writing lists is one of the main get-things-done strategies I use. I've maintained word documents for years with my "big" list (learn languages, write 18 paper ideas :) and others. However, this approach
- [Good moments in a busy day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/04/2012-05-04-good-moments-in-a-busy-day/) - Baby waking up happy and smiley (no whines!) after a 12+ hour sleep. Aaah! Taking the morning to clean house. Sheets, laundry, dishes, floors, bathroom, toys and more. The joys of a clean house ... for me, it makes everything feel better. Girlie having some awesome independent playtime. Yes, I appreciated the opportunity to get
- [Crock Pot Failure](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/03/2012-05-03-crock-pot-failure/) - After a long and occasionally stressful day, I returned home, excited to know that at least dinner awaited. Not just dinner: a fully, yummy crock pot of the awesome chana masala I make. And let me tell you, it is good. Rich, brothy, spicy, filling. A truly delightful dish, perfect for the end of a
- [More Crashing](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/03/2012-05-03-more-crashing/) - This is becoming a habit: falling asleep with baby, waking up late to do things around the house. Husband crashed with us tonight too - our household was down for the count before 9 p.m. I woke up at 11:30; stepped back in to nurse baby back to sleep; and just finished checking email. I
- [Crock Pot Revelations](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/01/2012-05-01-crock-pot-revelations/) - It's 2:16 a.m. and I'm blogging. Hmmm. Today baby and I got home at around the usual time - about 6 p.m. As is typical of late, she did not want to come inside but insisted on doing some work outside. "Dig dig dig!!" and puttering between the different beds, the plants she helped Dada
- [Integrating my split personality](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/05/01/2012-05-01-integrating-my-split-personality/) - I sometimes feel like two different people. One of me is very career and accomplishment oriented. I like challenges, I want to change things, put ideas out there, work with others and make things happen. I love to tackle opportunities that come my way, relish chances to collaboration, and don't say no (or don't want
- [It all gets done in the end](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/29/2012-04-29-it-all-gets-done-in-the-end/) - It's too late on Sunday night, but I am ready for bed. Today was busy. Up, clean, breakfast ... NAP! for 2 hours with baby. Vitally important nap, I must say. Then making food and cleaning, then 2 hours of mad mad work on organizing files and some house work and work on the course
- [No More New Things](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/28/2012-04-28-no-more-new-things/) - No, I haven't given up shopping though I think the amount I'll be doing in the next while will decrease exponentially. However, after a number of purchase challenges lately, I'm of the opinion that in general, used is a better choice than new. I am finding that when I splurge for new (and/or expensive), the
- [Me time, We time, No time](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/27/2012-04-27-me-time-we-time-no-time/) - Let me start from right now (10:46 p.m. on Friday night) and move backwards. I just heard a whistle outside. I hope it's not the paper lady, returning to remind us that we left another light on. About 10 minutes ago I was seriously freaked out when I heard a strange voice yelling outside the
- [Proof that I'm an extrovert](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/25/2012-04-25-proof-that-im-an-extrovert/) - On my way out from work today I passed a woman in the foyer who turned around and said, "Kamilla?" I turned around, said hello, recognized her but couldn't place her right away. "Did you go to any more of the writing group sessions?" she asked. Then I placed her: the interesting and funny woman
- [The story from here](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/24/2012-04-24-the-story-from-here/) - Life has a mysterious way of filling up. Last night, after blogging, I continued to rush around. Both husband and I spent the whole evening, until after 11, cleaning, organizing, purging, preparing for the following day. And guess what? There's still a lot to do today too! Baby woke up at 11, then 1, and
- [Classic day in the life of a working mother](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/23/2012-04-23-classic-day-in-the-life-of-a-working-mother/) - I had a big meeting at work today. I was facilitating a process with a group of faculty to help them come to a common understanding around some urgent decisions. I was a bit stressed. It was a challenging decision and a group of intelligent, engaged people. It had the possibility to go very poorly.
- [Oh, the glories of shopping!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/22/2012-04-22-oh-the-glories-of-shopping/) - Yes, I'm shopping AND checking Facebook. Just enough to keep me happy, not too much to drive me crazy. After moving into the basement, we noted a few things we needed to fill in the gaps so headed out this morning to get them. One stop at Jysk yielded some baskets and odds and ends.
- [Material and Spiritual: My Saturday](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/21/2012-04-21-material-and-spiritual-my-saturday/) - Today was delightful on two counts. I participated in a conference on women and spirituality. And we moved into the basement of our home so we can get the renos done. First, the conference. There were representatives of 9 different faith traditions, responding in turn to a series of questions about why we believe, how
- [Favourite Sounds](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/19/2012-04-19-favourite-sounds/) - My husband's feet running up the stairs to our house. My baby glugging back breastmilk. A friend's voice on the phone. Cellos, double basses and other strings. Creeks, rivers and babbling brooks. I'm sure there are more, but these are top of my list. In other news: I love this picture. The jaunty
- [Blessed sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/19/2012-04-19-blessed-sleep/) - Aaah ... went to bed with daughter tonight (8:30 ish??). Up at 12-something when husband came to bed. I did a few things (morning prep - hanging laundry) and am heading back to bed. So lovely ... :) And tomorrow is the last day of work for the week - lots to do, then 3
- [The Countdown](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/17/2012-04-17-the-countdown/) - My post count reads 270. That means there are fewer than 100 days of blogging left in this 365-day experiment. What does that mean? I've wondered whether I'll persist for a year, and if I do, what comes after. Currently am unsure. I enjoyed one blog of a year's decluttering - that blogger has decided
- [Sustainability, Sleep and Habits](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/16/2012-04-16-sustainability-sleep-and-habits/) - Some quick reflections before bed, after some thinking and conversations with friends/family. Sleep is essential to mental and physical health and enjoyment of life. I need to get to bed earlier - in general, I'm going to try to get into bed by 10 - so that I am rested, happy and productive. This means
- [Weekend Update with](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/15/2012-04-15-weekend-update-with/) - Me! Aaah, Sunday night, you came too soon. Nonetheless, it was a good weekend. Family: I felt very close with my family all weekend. Time relaxing, talking and working with my husband. Games and talking with baby, plus diaper-free time (requires a much higher level of attention and interaction). I'm really fortunate to have these
- [More Simple Solutions to Stressful Problems](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/14/2012-04-14-more-simple-solutions-to-stressful-problems/) - Cutting baby's fingernails = I can't do it. For the first year-ish, instead of cutting, I ripped them (really, there's science behind that. They're soft and easy to rip. No damage, and a softer edge than if you use clippers). Now that she's older, she is highly resistant when awake (to ripping OR clipping) so
- [Acceptance Challenge: (Not) Leaving the house](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/13/2012-04-13-acceptance-challenge-not-leaving-the-house/) - On this beautiful, sunny spring day, I finally managed to get myself and my daughter outside the house! At 4:30 p.m.! I'm continually amazed at how hard I find it to get out of the house lately. This morning is a classic example. I woke up, ready to get out of the house early. Baby
- [Simple solutions to stressful problems](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/13/2012-04-13-simple-solutions-to-stressful-problems/) - Those of you who read my postings (thank you for that!) may have noticed a certain stress in my tone lately. I know I'm feeling it. It's not that my to do list is unmanageable; it's that I haven't even found the time to do a list so the to-dos are ricocheting around my head
- [Getting a Grip on Life](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/11/2012-04-11-getting-a-grip-on-life/) - Also known as: something I think I need to do, but can't seem to manage. Life is good. It's fine. We're healthy, we eat, we sleep. Our house is not a complete disaster. I'm getting things done (some of them). But still: I just can't seem to get on top of everything that needs doing,
- [Late, Late, Late](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/10/2012-04-10-late-late-late/) - Nearly midnight. Just getting ready for bed. Baby crashed on the way home and I didn't want to wake her - she was so tired at the end of the day. When she did wake up at first she was upset, crying, didn't want to do anything. Then she was laughing, happy, playful and naked.
- [4-day weekends are way too short](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/09/2012-04-09-4-day-weekends-are-way-too-short/) - I really can't believe it's Sunday night. Really!!! How do 4 days speed by so quickly? Things I didn't do this weekend: writing (aside from blogging); work on the course I'm teaching THAT STARTED LAST WEEK; visit with friends; do a play date for baby; clean the house; get a lot of exercise; meal plan
- [Latest fashion trend: Layers](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/08/2012-04-08-latest-fashion-trend-layers/) - I've been into layers for quite a long time. I get cold, so layers make sense. I also enjoy the feeling of bundling up in a couple of different tops. For work, I'll often layer a tank top with a cardigan, and maybe a jacket over that. Baby is doing me one better. After months
- [Baby Yogini](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/07/2012-04-07-baby-yogini/) - Today baby lead us in a yoga practice. She likes to initiate them whenever the spirit moves her. She lies down on the floor and calls us to practice: "Mama!" (pats the floor on one side of her). "Dada!" (pats the floor on the other side). We follow our inspired leader, dropping whatever mundane task
- [New Shape Obsession](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/06/2012-04-06-new-shape-obsession/) - My girl's first and favourite shape is the "owal." She learned this word a few weeks ago, along with the shape, with one of those "stick the shape through the hole in the box" games. Since then she's begun to spot the shape everywhere, and ask for "more, more, MORE OVALS!" This morning she was
- [One more reason why I co-sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/05/2012-04-05-one-more-reason-why-i-co-sleep/) - Last night baby woke up at 1-something to nurse. She wiggled and stretched, then latched on and stayed close. And then, rolled back over, wiggled her arms down by her sides, snuggled up under the covers and went back to sleep. Her next wake-up was at 4-something. She nursed again, on one side, then lay
- [Independence Comes to Town](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/04/2012-04-04-independence-comes-to-town/) - Lord, give me strength: my baby is becoming a toddler. Homing in on a year and a half, baby is fully into the transition into being a person with her own, fully-expressed, needs and preferences. It's wonderful. I want to nurture it. I love to discover how she sees the world and what she wants.
- [All I really want to do](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/04/03/2012-04-03-all-i-really-want-to-do/) - Back from my break, I think and hope. Email access in the hotel in Vancouver was surprisingly weak. Once back, we found that our internet still wasn't working. Husband spent a long, long time on the phone, with the result that they're sending out a new router for us. We hope this means we can
- [super quick last trip blog](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/29/2012-03-29-super-quick-last-trip-blog/) - Baby and dad are drawing/naming pictures by the window. Baby & I just had a bath. We had indian take-out for dinner. I feel I should be nursing/putting baby down for sleep. But I"m not. And that's okay. And I"m blogging now so I don't have to later and so I can continue to either
- [Technical Challenges](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/29/2012-03-29-technical-challenges/) - For some reason, internet didn't work last night. So no blog. I'm living with it! And this morning I'm off for the second day of the conference. So, that's it for today.
- [Blip](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/27/2012-03-27-blip/) - Our home internet is down. That, combined with a very busy day at work and packing to head on a trip means that I MISSED A DAY!!! No uninterrupted full year of blogging. I'm okay with it. We're in Vancouver at a work conference for me. I won't travel without baby yet, so husband and
- [Self-care Sunday](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/25/2012-03-25-self-care-sunday/) - Husband is out with baby. I wanted a bit of time to myself. When asking for time yesterday (which husband was already planning to give me, of course) I thought I'd be productive (i.e., do writing and course prep). But Sunday's here, and I say no. I've done some picking outfits for the week and
- [Observing kids and parenting](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/24/2012-03-24-observing-kids-and-parenting/) - On Friday I spent some time walking downtown with my girl and spent some time at the library. There I observed some interesting interactions between parents, kids and authority. Baby was playing on the big pillows in the kids' area with another, bigger boy. After his mother reminded him to be careful as he played,
- [Must blog](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/23/2012-03-23-must-blog/) - Blogged.Good night!
- [I believe in hockey sticks](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/22/2012-03-22-i-believe-in-hockey-sticks/) - Second day of spring! So exciting! Woke up to snow! The weather here is not what it was when I grew up. We used to have long, cold, snowy winters and long, hot summers. Lately, the seasons bleed into each other and it's not predictable day to day what the weather will be. Someone asked
- [New Year, New Perspectives?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/21/2012-03-21-new-year-new-perspectives/) - Happy new year, everyone! Or Naw Ruz, which is what Baha'is call it. March 21, first day of spring, a new start, a new year. So today, I had a mini meltdown when my daughter wouldn't put a shirt on. Yes, awesome start to a new year. We were up, happy, playing, enjoying time at
- [Self-knowledge can be a wonderful thing](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/20/2012-03-20-self-knowledge-can-be-a-wonderful-thing/) - This morning with baby I actually tried to apply something I've read about, written about and know about: multitasking increases stress and reduces productivity. I was inspired because last night, as I started flitting around the kitchen starting multiple recipes at the same time, Husband suggested we focus on what we'd agreed was most important:
- [How to talk science to a non-scientist](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/19/2012-03-19-how-to-talk-science-to-a-non-scientist/) - On Friday I went in for a laser hair removal "consultation." Before "approving" me for the process, the clinic needs to meet me, ask some health questions, and assess whether "laser is right for me." I sat in the fancy waiting area on the curved red sofa and filled in an information form. A few
- [The practical value of fun](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/18/2012-03-18-the-practical-value-of-fun/) - Today we had fun. It was a conscious decision: yesterday was house-cleaning and grocery day, and we wanted at least one family day this weekend. Fun today meant: Pancake breakfast Playing with baby Family nap! And reading (finishing Bossypants) Family bike ride! It was a bit cold so we stopped at the library and hung
- [Guilt, resentment, judgment and other recent emotions](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/17/2012-03-17-guilt-resentment-judgment-and-other-recent-emotions/) - Life is good. And I've been feeling kind of bad. I have been far more irritable than necessary. I've been feeling badly about almost every aspect of my life. I've been judging myself and others. I really don't know if things are worse than usual or if I'm just more tuned in. I do know
- [Unconditional](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/16/2012-03-16-unconditional/) - First, a link to follow up on my comments yesterday about work, loving work or not, looking for my passion. I appreciate the comments about procrastination - I do procrastinate at work - and then I think about what I do even if I'm not paid for it: write; write; read; prepare talks and presentations;
- [Sub-optimal](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/15/2012-03-15-sub-optimal/) - This week has definitely not been one of outstanding performance on any front. Tired. Sick. A bit low. Unmotivated. So, motivation: what is it, and why don't I have more? I've been thinking about the things I sink my teeth into and the ones I don't. I would like to figure out what it is
- [And again](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/14/2012-03-14-and-again/) - Yes, it's 11:30. Though I did, apparently, get a bit of a nap once baby finally fell asleep. Since 10:30 I have been: consulting with my husband; sending an important email concerning my volunteer obligations; wandering around trying to figure out what to do; snacking on corn chips and salsa; lamenting the fact that I
- [Beat again](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/13/2012-03-13-beat-again/) - After 10, just blogging, and wiped out. How does this happen night after night?? And how on earth am I going to find time to do writing and teach a course??? Anyone?
- [Memory loss](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/12/2012-03-12-memory-loss/) - I have no recollection of what I planned to write about tonight. Baby's bedtime took from 6 something until after 10. She actually went to sleep without a problem at 7, but woke up 15 minutes later. With lots of crying, we got out of bed instead of staying there. Videos on the computer finally
- [Peace in the Here and Now](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/11/2012-03-11-peace-in-the-here-and-now/) - Baby's favourite words right now are the names of the people she loves. Especially during quiet moments - lying in bed, nursing - she'll start listing off the members of her family: "Ai'ya. Mama. Dada." Repeat, repeat, repeat. She'll often point to where we sleep in the bed, mama on one side, dada on the
- [My private thoughts](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/10/2012-03-10-my-private-thoughts/) - And fantasies, too. Baby is nursing to sleep in the middle of the day. I'm sitting in bed, holding her. My brain goes: "Good, she's going to sleep. Probably be out for almost 2 hours. I might blog, get that done. Or maybe I'll get around to working on the course - lots of prep
- [Sleepy day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/09/2012-03-09-sleepy-day/) - Baby up at 5:30. Really?? Though I realize that for most parents, and anyone fasting, that's no big deal. She kept going until around 12:30 when my husband got home and I handed over responsibility. We cuddled and played a lot in bed, did some important work (laundry, unloading the dishwasher), and played with blocks
- [Gratitude](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/08/2012-03-08-gratitude/) - I'm grateful that I'm not really sick.I'm grateful I got to spend time with my sister and niece today. I'm grateful that I got to share my faith with a group tonight. I'm grateful that my daughter nursed just before I left and fell asleep with her dad right away - and slept the whole
- [Bye bye, guilt](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/07/2012-03-07-bye-bye-guilt/) - When I stop and enumerate all the things I feel guilty about, I feel ... well ... kind of guilty! It's quite ridiculous the long and often contradictory list of items that I let myself feel badly about on a regular basis. Tonight I did my best to let go of some of these. After
- [Life's Roller Coaster](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/07/2012-03-07-lifes-roller-coaster/) - Up, down. Back, forth. Be, do. As I mentioned to a friend today, I feel like I flip-flop between opposites each day I post. Am I learning anything? Am I making some progress? It's hard to tell from here. I want to take time to reflect on this, and I also don't want to stew
- [Clearing Out](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/05/2012-03-05-clearing-out/) - Things, commitments, worries, lists, links, emails, projects. They can inspire, stress, depress, transform, consume. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good about my life. I'm also feeling lots of little threads tying me down and making it hard to fly. Perhaps it's appropriate I'm thinking about this on day 4 of the fast - a chance
- [Why I ate popcorn for dinner](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/04/2012-03-04-why-i-ate-popcorn-for-dinner/) - My sister and her baby are in town for a week (YAY!!!) and we kept our schedule clear so that we could spend as much time with them as we could. Saturday afternoon through dinner we were over at my mom's, and then today, from Breakfast through bath and bed. My mom had lots of
- [Choices](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/03/2012-03-03-choices-2/) - 8:12 p.m. Baby is not asleep, though she is tired and fell asleep on the drive home. It's been two somewhat long and whiny, cryie days around here. I am tired. and a bit frustrated. I had dreams of rolling her into bed and getting a lot of stuff done. That is not going to
- [PE Failed Me](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/02/2012-03-02-pe-failed-me/) - So, to confirm, a bone density test had recently indicated that I'm approaching a low enough density to have osteoporosis. This is not good at all. Guilt is an immediate response. Why haven't I exercised more? Yes, I should have. But I'm not a complete lump. Reading more about factors associated with it removes some
- [Happy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/03/01/2012-03-01-happy/) - Not sure why, but I'm quite happy today. It's great! Maybe it's because it's Thursday (TGIT!). Maybe because I've gone to bed early 3 nights in a row (bliss!!!) and not rushed in the mornings (also bliss!). Maybe I'm feeling kind of partially caught up at work. Maybe it's also that I got to leave
- [Early nights](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/29/2012-02-29-early-nights/) - First: how awesome to post to a blog on Feb. 29! Something you can do only once every 4 years. This week has been a series of early, early nights. Basically, crashing in bed with baby, unable to rise. No idea why I'm so tired. One theory might be that I'm getting more sleep, therefore
- [Happiness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/28/2012-02-28-happiness/) - Progress on goals today: moderate. Have not really walked yet, BUT have done exercise at my desk while reading :). Super-fun and fun to watch, I'm sure! plies/deep knee bends, and lifting objects over my head (objects = my big binder of reference materials). Have responded to emails as I read them. And am now
- [What a night](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/28/2012-02-28-what-a-night/) - Wow. After midnight again. Gave baby a bath at 7:30. A long bath. Got her out by 8, wrangled her into pajamas, tried to get her to sleep. By 8:40 she was reading books on my lap and I was crashing. Could barely keep my eyes open. But baby didn't want to sleep. We turned
- [Catching up](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/26/2012-02-26-catching-up/) - Work, work work. I feel the weight of a lot of it right now. Here's what I plan to do about the stress and anxiety I'm experiencing. 1) Exercise. I need more. For my bones (recently found out they're seriously weak - yech) and for my mental state. 2) Respond to emails as I read
- [Outings and Innings](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/25/2012-02-25-outings-and-innings/) - Today was more active than I'm used to. Up early. Groceries with baby - two stops. Haven't done that in a long time. And incidentally, it reminds me of how busy I kept during mat leave, doing groceries a few times a week at multiple stores. WHY??? Keep it simple. During shopping today, I said
- [Potty Humour](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/24/2012-02-24-potty-humour/) - This afternoon I looked over at a baby with a poop face. We dashed to the bathroom and almost made it! Almost = a big hunk of poo fell to the floor mat as I lifted her onto the potty. Awesome! At least it was a lump and not a stream. I cleaned her up,
- [Working the work](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/23/2012-02-23-working-the-work/) - Today I worked! It was brilliant! Didn't arrive until 9:30, but I settled right in, thanks to non-working email. I was also inspired by a "getting things done" list from Julie Morgenstern that I'd brought in to work, and focused on her "do not multitask" recommendation. So I cleared my desk and started to work
- [A working mom's lament](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/22/2012-02-22-a-working-moms-lament/) - My sweet girl seems to be going through some separation anxiety. When I drop her off in the mornings lately, she doesn't like it. She doesn't want me to leave, wants to nurse, and if I make a move for the door, protests. I stay, bond, nurse and play and grandma plays, engages, distracts and
- [Self-care](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/21/2012-02-21-self-care/) - Today I walked up and down the stairs in my building (3 flights) 3 times. And one time in a nearby building, up another 3 flights. Walked a bit around campus for meetings. And did yoga over lunch. Self-care! Now: am heading to bed. Because I"m wiped, baby just went to sleep, and sleep is
- [Enough](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/20/2012-02-20-enough/) - As we proceed with decluttering and downsizing, I'm reflecting on a few ideas from other blogs. The benefits of having a little bit extra is one idea discussed here. Some minimalists would have you eliminate all the fluff: one towel per person, one pair of sheets per bed, only the smallest of wardrobes, and throw
- [And another one bites the dust](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/19/2012-02-19-and-another-one-bites-the-dust/) - Sunday night: how did you get here so quickly? Today was another enjoyable and chore-free day. Sleep in and hang out in bed with family until after 8. Pancakes for breakfast. Great hike with a friend. Lunch and a tv episode on Netflix. Nap! Then, with one SMALL chore (mixed up the dough for bread),
- [Adapting to the day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/19/2012-02-19-adapting-to-the-day/) - Today we were flexible and spontaneous. Awesome! In the morning, I had some time with baby. We read books, then she wanted to play with the matrioshki on the mantle. I gave her one to play with and when I realized that she was fully absorbed in independent play, I pulled out my recipes and
- [Into Order](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/18/2012-02-18-into-order/) - Our attempts to create more order in our home are moving ahead. We're tackling different corners of our home together, purging as much as we can, and organizing what's left. A few nights ago we tackled the tea/food storage shelves in the kitchen. Gone: two teapots, two tea balls, some tea, lots of vitamins, one
- [Free Evening](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/16/2012-02-16-free-evening/) - It's my Friday - the start of my weekend. My husband usually picks up baby on Thursday nights to give me some personal time. It's funny how little I look forward to what should be delightful! I'm dealing with part of my anxiety right now by pumping before I leave the office. Going too long
- [Wednesday night](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/15/2012-02-15-wednesday-night/) - Thank God the day is over. Good night.
- [Comparisons](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/14/2012-02-14-comparisons/) - Today was kind of about anti-acceptance. I hit the ground running, tackling emails as they came in and prepping for a big day at work. My afternoon meeting was cancelled so I was ready for a full-on productive day. And suddenly, mid-morning, I had an irresistable urge to compare myself to others. I just had
- [And for more acceptance ...](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/13/2012-02-13-and-for-more-acceptance/) - Sometimes, being tired is a good thing. When you're tired your resistance drops, and it can free you from pushing through with all the shoulds on your list. Like tonight. I really should get some writing done. Or more research in preparation for a finance meeting on Wed. night. Or ... something! Declutter another shelf!
- [Acceptance round 3 or 4](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/12/2012-02-12-acceptance-round-3-or-4/) - Almost 2 months ago I started drumming again. My old teacher was holding weekly jam sessions for advanced students on afro-cuban drumming. I love that stuff, so I went, and was completely invigorated. As time has gone by, I've continued to enjoy the evenings often, but also dread them a bit. Finding time to practice
- [Semi-Magical Evening](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/11/2012-02-11-semi-magical-evening/) - Baby was asleep by 8:15. Yay! But it took over 2 solid hours of time in the bedroom to get there. We tried a bath at 6 but she didn't like that idea. Shake, shake shake. So we went right into the bedroom, new diaper, nurse. Eyes closing within minutes! "I'll be out of here
- [Small Tweaks](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/11/2012-02-11-small-tweaks/) - Changing a few small things can make a big difference. I stopped by an eye store on our walk today and had my glasses tightened. With baby's snatch-ability (and possibly generally loose frames??), my glasses were falling off my face and the arms were floppy. Now they stay in place. Brilliant! I also bought a
- [Games](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/10/2012-02-10-games/) - Note: written just after midnight. Once again, I fell asleep with baby and didn't wake up for a while. There are lots of fun games to play with a little baby. Here are some we've played recently. Pull-apart-the-foamies. We have a row of foam around our bed for a bit of protection if baby falls.
- [Magical Evening](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/08/2012-02-08-magical-evening/) - Driving up to my mom's after work, I noticed the snow specks glistening in the near-dark. Baby was happy to see me, reenacting the same welcome she's done all week: "MAMA! MAMA! as she smiles and races by the gate at the top of the stairs. We nursed and played the chase-me game as I
- [Past Lives](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/07/2012-02-07-past-lives/) - Today at work I had only one (fun) meeting, so I had lots of time to catch up on the projects that I haven't been able to get to. I took the morning to put together a resource list for a workshop I helped present on employment equity and search committees. This entailed tracking down
- [Monday recap](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/06/2012-02-06-monday-recap/) - Today: pretty good. Baby woke up just before the alarm went off. Lots of nursing and potty. With husband's help, we were fed and out of the house before 8. Baby drop-off: seamless. Arriving at work: parked in a nearer lot, and time to login to computer and get to presentation early. Presentation: went well.
- [Mondays](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/05/2012-02-05-mondays/) - I wish it were Tuesday. Sigh. I have a presentation to give tomorrow morning and I've been stressing about it for a while. It's an important one, there's a lot of content, and BLEH, I've been struggling to focus and prepare appropriately. Plus, it's first thing tomorrow, so we need to get out of the
- [More Melting](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/05/2012-02-05-more-melting/) - Walking into a dark bedroom where a little mop-topped toddler is sitting up, rubbing her eyes, and asking quietly and clearly for "mama." Said baby rolling over after nursing to rest her head on my heart, arms wrapped around my sides while I stroke her hair. Whoever said that being a parent doesn't bring happiness
- [Natural habitat](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/03/2012-02-03-natural-habitat/) - Last night after staying late at work I realized that I have been feeling stressed, unwell, not great. I'm forgetting things (many, many things), having a hard time concentrating, and a lot more irritable than usual. Once I realized this, I accepted it (yay, first step!) and then was informed by my husband once I
- [Not Fun At All](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/02/2012-02-02-not-fun-at-all/) - Lest you all think I walk around in a dream-like state completely divorced from reality, here are some interactions that occur with my daughter that I really am not super fond of. I would say that they are not fun at all. At ALL. Trying for a positive spin, I would say they add depth
- [Cleaning up](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/02/01/2012-02-01-cleaning-up/) - Today I had a day off work because of some family things that needed attending to. I had some time in there while mom watched baby to sit in a restaurant and then coffee shop, eating and working. It was a good opportunity to catch up on a few things and think about what to
- [Time and experiences](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/31/2012-01-31-time-and-experiences/) - Today I had the gift of some time and time-free experiences. After a reasonable night's sleep, girlie woke up at 6:30 to nurse. And went back to sleep! My alarm was set for 6:40 and I felt pretty awake after a couple of longer sleep stretches, so I got up. Aaah, time to myself in
- [Bad Parenting](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/30/2012-01-30-bad-parenting/) - Yesterday night I made a parenting decision that made me wonder about my to make decisions. In bed, trying to get baby to sleep. Nursing, bottle, napping, and before you know it she's sitting up, signing "eat!" and making her adorable "I'm hungry!" noise: "umm, mm, mmm." I thought it made sense to keep her
- [Weekends](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/30/2012-01-30-weekends/) - Another one come and gone. I do not intend to mourn its passing, however, but to reflect on the pace of life weekends of late have inspired in our home and what that might mean into the future. This weekend we got a few things done around here - really, our usual weekend routine: Changed
- [Facing materialism](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/28/2012-01-28-facing-materialism/) - I am nearing the end of my shopping streak, and am somewhat relieved. My wardrobe feels much more workable, so that objective seems to be achieved. I no longer feel pressure to find time on weekends and nights to rush out and scour the racks for essential clothing items. My credit card can take a
- [Priorities](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/27/2012-01-27-priorities-2/) - Today was a good day. Visit with a friend, then baby sleeping in my arms for a good part of her 3-hour nap (like, 2.5 hours of it) while I read (Mango something ... too tired to remember the title ... Mango Season, that's it!). However. It's 10:15, I'm WIPED OUT and need to sleep.
- [How to not have fun](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/26/2012-01-26-how-to-not-have-fun/) - Hello grammarians: infinitive split deliberately. I actively engaged in "not fun having" today! Step 1: procrastinate at work. Step 2: beat yourself up about it. Step 3: leave work late because you are trying to catch up. Step 4: instead of enjoying a couple of hours of personal time while your husband picks up baby
- [Looking Insane](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/25/2012-01-25-looking-insane/) - Yesterday at work was busy as usual. I was working on files and printing in the room across the hallway. The printer room, with the temperamental printer, is shared with another busy unit. I went in to pick up my print job and saw a man standing in front of the shredder holding a few
- [Pick a topic, any topic](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/24/2012-01-24-pick-a-topic-any-topic/) - Today was one of those busy days (with admittedly a good dose of procrastination) and tired evenings where, once I sit down to blog, all the interesting topics I thought of writing about today vanish from my head. Baby just went to sleep and the house is mainly clean thanks primarily to husband who did
- [Bedtime sucks](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/24/2012-01-24-bedtime-sucks/) - and is also, when it happens, the most wonderful part of the day.
- [Conscious Consumption](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/22/2012-01-22-conscious-consumption/) - Recently I've been thinking about my shopping patterns. I would never have said I was a big shopper. In actuality, I shop more than I need to and am learning more about how shopping operates in my life. I hope to reach a healthy state of balanced shopping at some point. During mat leave, I
- [Pick 3 things](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/21/2012-01-21-pick-3-things/) - One idea I've read on a few mommy blogs is the suggestion (or survival tactic if you prefer) to be realistic about what you can get done while staying home with kids. For those who haven't yet indulged, I can let you know that childcare is both wonderful and exhausting, all-consuming, constantly-attention-demanding. And at the
- [Tiredness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/20/2012-01-20-tiredness/) - Before I had a baby, my greatest worry (aside from birth itself) was exhaustion. I had heard so many mothers talk about how deeply and permanently tired they were for the first few years of their children's lives. I knew my own love of sleep, need for it, in fact, and was concerned that I
- [Half-way there](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/19/2012-01-19-half-way-there/) - Today marks the start of the second half of this blogging project. In other words: I have just blogged daily for 6 months* and plan to continue until summer. EEEK! I started the project somewhat impulsively. I had a sudden idea that inspired me, I planned it out, got super excited, then gave up (too
- [Recovery](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/18/2012-01-18-recovery-2/) - A wonderful husband who makes dinner, helps us out of the house in the morning, and cares how I'm doing. Sweet sweet baby watching me leave and return from the same window. Loving mom who encourages me. Propolis to ward off the impending cold. Getting things done at work, including those long put off. A
- [Break-downs and new limits](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/17/2012-01-17-break-downs-and-new-limits/) - I've been struggling for the past week or more and I don't know what to do about it. I'm definitely tired, in spite of a couple good nights' sleep. Baby's been waking up a lot and fussing and crying through the night. I'm worried about my husband's health. I am not functioning well at work.
- [Just Relax](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/16/2012-01-16-just-relax/) - This post today by a friend resonated, specifically the doctor's diagnosis. It reminded me of past times in my life when it seemed people all around would tell me the same thing: "just relax!" The implications of this were many: I was uptight, they weren't, I was upset about things that I should just let
- [Week-ready](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/15/2012-01-15-week-ready/) - Things have felt kind of crazy and too busy the last week or two. This weekend was no exception. I spent too much time running around and rushing to get stuff done. With lots of cooking, some shopping, decluttering and picking up messes, the days flew by. Now it's Sunday night and I don't feel
- [Say no to clutter](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/14/2012-01-14-say-no-to-clutter/) - Getting rid of things in the house has been going well. The trick to keeping it that way is to stop other things from coming in. That was today's test. As I get rid of things I see items we own that are old, worn-out, ugly. Though I don't feel that I want a lot
- [A Good Night's Sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/13/2012-01-13-a-good-nights-sleep/) - Last night, out of nowhere, my daughter (I think, to the best of my knowledge, as far as I can recall, drum roll please) slept through the night. Yes, at nearly 15 months of age, she provided me with the longest uninterrupted stretch of sleep I've had since her birth. Excluding the first night after
- [Reclaiming Time](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/12/2012-01-12-reclaiming-time/) - Yesterday I finally realized in a meaningful way that the free time I have is precious and I am spending a good portion of it doing something with minimal productive value. So today, I officially started on a break from Facebook. I added this as a status line - my first in maybe years -
- [Love the moment/ Work update](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/11/2012-01-11-love-the-moment-work-update/) - Last night baby woke up at 3:30 to snack. Not unusual. However, she then stayed up until almost 5:30. We: nursed, tried a bottle, nursed, tried a bottle, heated the bottle more. Rocked, cuddled. Let her climb off the bed, walk to the door and come back. Walked around the house with her. Read books.
- [Work and Stress](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/10/2012-01-10-work-and-stress/) - Returning to work after a long vacation = not much fun. I thought I liked my job. And maybe I did. Returning to it is a different story. I think that the months of hard work leading up to the vacation wore me out. I was tired of the intense pace of work and never
- [Don't Cheap Out](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/09/2012-01-09-dont-cheap-out/) - This phrase has been running through my head a lot lately. As we've been purging and upgrading many of our possessions, and as I take a hard look at what I've been wearing, I keep coming round to a simple idea I've known for a while: it is worth it to buy quality from the
- [A rant about fashion, self-image and turning 40](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/08/2012-01-08-a-rant-about-fashion-self-image-and-turning-40/) - I had an experience yesterday that made me stop and take stock of how I'm doing as a woman. Out running errands and getting some air with baby I stopped by my favourite shoe store. My primary goal was to check out the selection for mom so I could let her know if they had
- [Parenting Wins and Challenges](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/07/2012-01-07-parenting-wins-and-challenges/) - I've been a parent (of a this-side-of-the-womb child) for almost 15 months. The job description keeps changing, though the overall goal is still the same. I think. Was I ever really clear on it? Generally, raise a healthy happy loving giving being. As I continue the journey I thought I'd share a few recent wins
- [Friendergy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/06/2012-01-06-friendergy/) - Starting some time in December I've been feeling a new energy around connecting with people and making friends. I definitely noticed it in Victoria, where people simply were friendlier and I had numerous conversations with strangers. But now back home, it's continuing. I'm reaching out a lot more than before: emails, calling, or simply saying
- [Dwelling on the Positive](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/05/2012-01-05-dwelling-on-the-positive/) - Not sure why I like to spin the negatives into a story. It's my default. It's easy and generally amusing. Today, however, let's dwell on the positives. Happy wake-up with baby Feeling rested most of the day Discovering the joys of listening to music while working (grooveshark.com) - it could be distracting but instead improves
- [Drumming and Learning](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/04/2012-01-04-drumming-and-learning/) - More drumming tonight. Working on 3 rhythms: yambu, guaguanco and vudo. I like them all. My brain and body are steadily remembering the beats from the past. And sometimes, not remembering them very well. There were a couple of rhythms tonight that I just couldn't get. At all. Drum teacher had to stop us to
- [Return to Work](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/03/2012-01-03-return-to-work/) - Yes, first day back at work and surviving so far. I realized that not thinking about work while I was off was possibly a defense strategy. Coming in today was harder than I thought. Packing up baby for a start, even with all of my husband's help. Then thinking about all the work, projects and
- [Growth](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/02/2012-01-02-growth/) - The last few days I've found myself somewhat irritating. I talk too much, am occasionally rude, frequently negative or critical, sometimes insensitive, off-topic, and oddly impatient with baby (note: internally impatient, externally loving :)). I think this is kind of cool. First because becoming older is about self-acceptance and I ACCEPT that I can be
- [Baby Time and Learning](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2012/01/01/2012-01-01-baby-time-and-learning/) - Baby continues to amaze and delight us day by day. Today's highlights: Toddling around doing her work so diligently. Carrying armloads of paper clips (the big safe kind :)) from basket to chair and back. Hanging the laundry. Moving things. Carting things. On and on. Working on dressing herself. She got two legs into her
- [Countdown](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/31/2011-12-31-countdown/) - I've definitely been on vacation - I haven't been paying much attention at all to the day of the week or how much longer I have off. However, it's been brought to my attention that return to work is fast approaching. As of tomorrow I have 2 more days of vacation left in this long
- [Relationships First](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/30/2011-12-30-relationships-first/) - Today was much more enjoyable than yesterday. I think it's because I decided to put relationships first, over getting things done. Sort of. Mainly my relationship with my daughter, for much of the day. In general. what I mean is: today I saw that when I put energy into focusing on my daughter and having
- [Looong day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/29/2011-12-29-looong-day/) - Normal morning. After breakfast headed to Credit Union (safety deposit box drop) then walk with baby to the park to see the birds. At the park, started thinking about my wallet. How, though it's cool and locally made, I really didn't need to buy it and don't love it. Then started wondering where my wallet
- [Reflections on Communication](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/28/2011-12-28-reflections-on-communication/) - So today I got annoyed at my husband twice, once possibly deservedly, once probably not. Getting over these fun moments and moving on together were interestingly insightful for me. Both times, once the issue was out in the open my frustration dropped significantly. Both times we used humour and taking ourselves not too seriously to
- [Red Square Dreams](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/27/2011-12-27-red-square-dreams/) - Last night I dreamt about Red Square again. This time I was on some type of a camp exchange program in Russia with a group. We had been busy with various activities when I suddenly realized there were only 2 days before we left for home and I still hadn't been to Red Square. In
- [Toddlers and Books](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/26/2011-12-26-toddlers-and-books/) - As of today, it feels official: our girl is transitioning from baby to toddler. I'm excited, nostalgic and filled with joy as I watch her growing mobility, understanding, interactions and personhood emerge. Some signs of toddlerhood, and plain old cuteness: Toddling. That is, walking is now her dominant form of motion. And as of today,
- [Family Snow Winter Nesting Beauty Baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/26/2011-12-26-family-snow-winter-nesting-beauty-baby/) - A connected flow of thoughts on my day. Family is really important and takes work to build a healthy, well-functioning extended family. Family time matters and it's nice to see the streets so quiet as families gather today. I wonder what is so culturally significant about snow on Christmas? I know I feel it and
- [Praying again](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/24/2011-12-24-praying-again/) - Today I finally managed to recommit myself to prayer. For me this means becoming regular with my daily obligatory prayer, making time for prayers with baby, and including at least some focused personal prayer and reading of sacred writings daily. Why today? Well ... I need it. I have been feeling stress, guilt and discontent
- [Home](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/23/2011-12-23-home/) - Safely home. Aaaah ... no place like home. Going on vacation is wonderful. I've noticed as I get older that the returning home part is often even more wonderful. Our own bed. Delightful! All our THINGS that we like and use. Knowing where things are and where they belong. Freedom to do as many loads
- [Vacationed out](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/22/2011-12-22-vacationed-out/) - Going away is exciting, stimulating, fun. Coming home is renewing, centering, rejuvenating. We've been gone for about a week and I am so ready to get home. We've seen family and friends, walked, seen sights and - yes - shopped. Now it's time to get home and resettle in at home. I'm excited to wash
- [Guilt](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/21/2011-12-21-guilt/) - Guilt, guilt guilt. Why do I feel so much guilt? I am becoming aware of how constantly I am assessing my actions and wondering what I should be doing differently. Guilt is the opposite of being in the moment. It's the opposite of self-acceptance. It's the opposite of peace. And I am riddled with it.
- [Good, good day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/20/2011-12-20-good-good-day/) - Good days start with a good night's sleep. Baby went to sleep a bit after 8 and only woke up 2ce (!) before final wake-up around 6:30. Amazing!! I can't believe how good it's goign to feel when she does this more often. We also enjoyed watching "Win Win" last night. This morning started with
- [Love kids walks movie](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/19/2011-12-19-love-kids-walks-movie/) - Vacation here is about family.Our girls together are amazingly cute. Watching them play together I can really observe the uniqueness each brings to the world. They have got into some disagreements over who gets to play with what toy :). There is some pulling and not-happy noises. This is the learning and family bonding time
- [Updates](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/18/2011-12-18-updates/) - Last night turned out not quite as planned. Owing to various sleep/nap/bedtime discrepancies, we couldn't get out of here until around 7:30 and going to the concert didn't seem practical. So my sister washed up and we went to a drum circle instead. Great to be drumming more lately! I used a djembe and a
- [Out](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/17/2011-12-17-out/) - Tonight, on vacation, my sister & I are heading to a house concert in a neighbouring town. My first big outing like this ever post-baby. I'm excited to go, nervous, trusting my husband to be with her, and missing baby already. Must go get ready. Here goes.
- [Honest Truths](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/16/2011-12-16-honest-truths/) - Some things I'm learning to accept these days. We inevitably leave late for a trip. We always pack way, way too much for a trip. Whatever we pack, however well organized, will end up in multiple bags, containers, and running loose all over the car before the first day is up. For every extra item
- [It works out](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/15/2011-12-15-it-works-out/) - ETD for our trip: 10 a.m.Actual time leaving town: 12:45. Not bad, but we missed the ideal of hitting the road before baby's naptime. Result: awakeness and baby play instead of reading, talking and snacking. Eventually she slept. But it was dark. How to read? Answer: the gorgeous sweet silver flashlight in the fabulous toolkit
- [Recovery](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/14/2011-12-14-recovery/) - Today I nearly had a melt-down. And made it back to normal or better. Why the emotional collapse? The usual: dwelling on the negative, and baby not doing what I wanted. Ridiculous reasons, really. I know better than to focus on the dark side, but in relation to baby cooperation and breastfeeding, it's where I
- [150 - 3 - 1](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/13/2011-12-13-150-3-1/) - 150 blog posts. 3 years of marriage. 1 long day. I've been blogging daily for about 5 months now. I'm amazed at how easily this became a daily habit. I just do it. It's rarely a burden or a nuisance. I usually look forward to it. the only time it's hard is when bedtime is
- [Self-care and Other-care](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/12/2011-12-12-self-care-and-other-care/) - Yesterday the family (yes, all 3 of us! Yay!) went to an artsy crafty festival in a beautiful new building (is it an art studio? a mansion? a coffee shop? All of the above) in a lovely ruralish part of town. A friend was selling her work there which is how I ended up going,
- [Undeserved Blessing](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/11/2011-12-11-undeserved-blessing/) - Let's face it: I can be a complainer. I planned to get out of the house by 9 this morning to do our one errand: groceries from Nature's Fare. Instead, pancakes took a while, then baby had to play, then poop, then resist being dressed, then play/walk. Plus other stuff. So we left the house
- [Changes](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/10/2011-12-10-changes/) - Today is definitely not yesterday. Putting positivity and pro-activity into action. Baby was good enough to feel well much of today and play beautifully on her own for quite a few stretches. It was so sweet to see (and hear, when she was moving her blocks around the bedroom) her busy with her work, talking
- [Goals and Reality](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/10/2011-12-10-goals-and-reality/) - First day of vacation. I ended the day stressed, lonely, sad and burned out. Time to reassess. Though vacation is supposed to be joyful and fun, if you've been working hard it's also the first chance to come down off of the adrenalin cycle and get back in touch with your real life. My real
- [Work and Life and Baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/09/2011-12-09-work-and-life-and-baby/) - Today was my last day of work before a winter break of almost 4 weeks long (I know! I can't quite believe it myself!). I"ve been working hard the past few weeks to catch up on all the things that seem to need doing before the break, but somehow today was still a remarkably intense
- [Small blessings and minor tweaks](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/08/2011-12-08-small-blessings-and-minor-tweaks/) - Today: not bad. Lots of little things to think about. I made it out of the house by 9:30 after washing bottles, doing/hanging laundry, feeding self and baby, packing for the day and researching air purifiers online. We went to pick up goat's milk first. No organic, so I got regular. Packed up baby, hit
- [Bits](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/06/2011-12-06-bits/) - Baby was asleep by 9:30. And in the context of other things lately, that seems early. I have been wondering about sleep lately because her patterns have changed a lot - usually she'd fall asleep 8ish after nursing and bottle, but now she pops up, awake and ready to play. I wonder what is going
- [No idea what to write](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/05/2011-12-05-no-idea-what-to-write/) - Today was a too-busy, complaining day. Blah. Right through tonight, with baby finally asleep by 9:50. That's right. Waaay too long, way too much going on. And a lot of the things I wanted to complain about are pointless now. Husband just found the ribbon of bells I made for baby that she lost. He
- [Baby Date](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/04/2011-12-04-baby-date/) - Tonight i asked my husband what I should blog about. Here is his suggestion: Blog about our date. And how we missed baby on our date. And we cut out magazines and we love each other. And how we're making progress on deciding when to have a baby. All true! We went on a date
- [3 Things](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/03/2011-12-03-3-things/) - 1. Today, walking baby (2 hours of walking but not a hint of a nap!) I literally felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I remembered that I have paid off my student loans and have no personal debt. I feel so much more free. A world of possibilities feels like it's opened up.
- [Financial Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/02/2011-12-02-financial-peace/) - Today marks a major milestone: I just paid off my student loans. In full. All of them. Done!!! I've been tackling them fairly steadily since I finished grad school 7 years ago. I had about $25K to pay back. Funny how the amount creeps up bit by bit as the years pass (note: that's the
- [Writing Feelings](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/12/01/2011-12-01-writing-feelings/) - This is me, being in the moment, taking action and moving towards my goals. How? Because: I am at work on a day off with the primary goal of working on my writing. This specifically means that I am working through "Writing your journal article in 12 weeks: A guide to academic publishing success" by
- [not crazy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/30/2011-11-30-not-crazy/) - I've got a blog to write, but our internet connection is not cooperating. I wanted to write and post at work just to make sure I got it done today, but, well, work isn't working that way for me right now. I have 3 more days of work before winter break and quite a bit
- [Complaining?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/29/2011-11-29-complaining/) - Hmm. I've been noticing a new trend in my conversations lately and it's not one I'm proud of. I've been complaining. Quite a bit. Blech. I want to be full of positivity, energy and fun, not drag-me-down excuses. Time for some analysis and change. So where are these complaints coming from? They are pretty much
- [Organized Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/29/2011-11-29-organized-peace-2/) - NaBloPoMo, I'm trying!! Last night the problem wasn't wordpress but our internet connection. Each time I tried to load, save or post a page I got an error message. I finally was able to write this post and email it to myself, and am posting it from work. I'll also write a quick post for
- [Organized Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/28/2011-11-28-organized-peace/) - Last night was one of those magical nights at our house where time seemed to stand still and endless opportunities for getting things done extended our evening and simultaneously energized us. After a day of errands, housework and time with baby (my head was much better; oh yay!) we put baby to bed and continued
- [Oh Lordy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/27/2011-11-27-oh-lordy/) - I've found myself using this expression of my husband's lately as I watch our girl make her way in the world. She amazes me more and more as she grows up with every new thing she does, each emerging aspect of her character and personality. She's walking - around things, a step here and there
- [Sick Bonus](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/26/2011-11-26-sick-bonus/) - Still sick. Head still throbbing. It's not as bad as yesterday but still definitely there. I bend down slowly and take corners at a snail's pace. I am grateful, though. Time with my daughter continues to be wonderful, even if I sometimes crave a few minutes to myself. Which was provided by my husband today
- [In sickness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/25/2011-11-25-in-sickness/) - I'm sick. I don't know if it's a cold or flu or what, but driving home last night my head started to fill. It throbs when I move too quickly, my skin is sensitive to the touch and I'm cold and tired. Blech. Husband has been great, taking care of lots around the house and
- [Ownership](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/24/2011-11-24-ownership/) - I watched a fun video today, courtesy of my mom, about a man who built an adorable house in 3 months for only a few thousand dollars. One of the comments on the video was that if we could only support land ownership (something like that), we could house so many more people. This idea
- [Think Fair (trade)](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/23/2011-11-23-think-fair-trade/) - I just wrote a lovely post about the great fair trade fair that my students organized at the university today, and about how incredible they are - so skilled, hard working, creative, amazing, wonderful. IT's been a pleasure working with them. Wordpress was messing around and the post is lost. I'm wiped out. I can't
- [Don't read this book. Or this one.](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/22/2011-11-22-dont-read-this-book-or-this-one/) - I just finished looking through On Becoming Babywise by Ezzo and others, and Health Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Weissbluth. I am now feeling disturbed, angry and deeply sad. Babywise is a "parent-directed" program for raising children. It purports to be Christian, though it has no basis in Christian scriptures. Its goal is that parents direct
- [Clothes](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/21/2011-11-21-clothes/) - On to something lighter: I'm currently obsessed with clothes. If you saw my wardrobe you might be surprised to learn this fact, but it's true. I love reading about clothes, and building a wardrobe, and decluttering a wardrobe, and essential clothes to own, and on and on. Some of my thoughts on clothes: The way
- [The anti-peace warrior](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/20/2011-11-20-the-anti-peace-warrior/) - Today I had the pleasure of learning what life feels like when, far from spreading the peace, you actually turn people against you. Baby had gone down for a nap and I raced out of the house to get some errands done. With work days long and weekends full, it's been hard to get to
- [Choosing simple](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/20/2011-11-20-choosing-simple/) - Today was a great opportunity to choose to dial it down, back and under rather than push ahead. I've been leaning towards get-it-done productivity of late and while it brings positives (cleaner house, advances in my writing) it also can take me out of the present moment. Wait ... have I written about this before?
- [Snow Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/19/2011-11-19-snow-day/) - My first real snow day of the year and it was magnificent! Not at all what I'm used to, but a delightful new normal. First, I now heartily endorse going to bed early with baby. I slept well, she slept well, and I woke up a bit before 7 rested and ready to go (incidentally,
- [Peaceful Sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/17/2011-11-17-peaceful-sleep-2/) - Tonight I'm dreaming of an early bedtime. The week has felt long and full, and baby was up a lot last night. We got home after 6, it's almost 8 and we just finished dinner. Husband will bathe her as I get ready for bed and then I'm dreaming of nursing her to sleep and
- [Providential Calamity](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/16/2011-11-16-providential-calamity/) - Including today, I have (had) 8 more days of work until winter break. Fewer than 8 days, in fact, to get done a large amount of work. Today at work I had to video-tape a presentation that was part of a lecture series my office sponsors. This proved to take lot more time than anticipated.
- [Talk Talk Talk](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/15/2011-11-15-talk-talk-talk/) - I joined a writer's group today. The university sponsors a variety of groups including "write a journal article in 12 weeks". This title inspired me a couple of weeks ago and on a whim I wrote to ask if there was still room in the workshop. I assumed it wouldn't be for someone like me.
- [Lousy lousy evening](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/14/2011-11-14-lousy-lousy-evening/) - I bathed baby at 8. It took her until 10 to fall asleep. Why so long? Mainly because she was still hungry. I gave her the milk I pumped today but it wasn't even 3 oz. And for the past 48 hours she's been refusing any other milk: cow's milk, goat's milk, the formula we
- [In and Out](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/13/2011-11-13-in-and-out/) - Other items recently leaving our home: Ironing board (let's get real, okay? I don't iron. Though we still do have the iron ... for sewing projects!) Plastic food containers. Lots. Not-loved stuffed toy List of daily schedule with baby. I learned I'm not a baby scheduler. Book I finished reading last night: Dixieland Sushi More
- [Holy Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/12/2011-11-12-holy-day/) - Today is the Birth of Baha'u'llah, an important Baha'i holy day. I'm always glad for these pauses in the calendar to reflect and step out of the busyness of regular life. Last night we all went to the holy day celebration, the first Baha'i event I've been to in a while. It was really good
- [Nov. 11 Remembrance Day Bonus Post](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/11/2011-11-11-nov-11-remembrance-day-bonus-post/) - My decluttering over the last few days. Thursday: Husband decided to clean out the pantry. THANK YOU! He did an amazing job. We decluttered together and got rid of 3 lunch bags, assorted kitchen items (extra can opener, peeler, measuring spoon, 2 tin lids (I got rid of the tins earlier as I couldn't find
- [Bad mom?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/11/2011-11-11-bad-mom/) - (the post I wanted to write last night.) A friend called me Thursday morning with an important question: "Are we bad moms for working?" Or, more accurately and guiltily "We're not bad moms for working, are we?" I don't quite remember what I said in response, though I know I acknowledged that work is important
- [Tomorrow](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/10/2011-11-10-tomorrow/) - WOW I'm tired!!! Really really really. Falling asleep while playing with baby tired. I'm just up from putting her to bed ... did I go to sleep there for a while? I couldn't tell you. So I'm awake now to blog, brush my teeth and return to bed. And sleep. Oh, sleep!!! I'm looking forward
- [Connections](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/09/2011-11-09-connections/) - Maybe you're familiar with the research showing that mothers and babies who breastfeed and cosleep get into the same biorhythm patterns (I think the technical term is different - basically, the cycles in and out of REM sleep become synched). I've been noticing this for a while, but last night was a great example. Baby
- [More to go](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/08/2011-11-08-more-to-go/) - I've been getting inspiration lately from Declutter Daily. Did I mention her before? She's from Virginia Beach, right by where I used to live (Norfolk) and she's decluttering a minimum of one item from her home daily. Minimum. Plus instituting a "one in, one out" rule. Go big or go home!!! Some of her declutters
- [Winter](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/07/2011-11-07-winter/) - Winter is arriving. First snow today. I have mixed feelings about this. Snow is beautiful, peaceful, fun. It portends the seasonal shift into cozy, indoors and nestling down life. I kind of love dressing up in long socks, lost of layers, toques and jackets, carrying a cup of tea everywhere. And there are few things
- [Clutter Inspiration](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/06/2011-11-06-clutterinspiration/) - Turns out I was indeed getting sick yesterday. Still feeling low: sore, scratchy throat and chest feels full. However, compared to most illnesses this is nothing so I'm not complaining. Being sick when you have a baby is a whole new experience. Good-bye long lie-ins in bed with tea and a good book! Hello walking
- [Mix it up](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/05/2011-11-05-mix-it-up/) - Slow, lazy day today. I think I might be a tiny teeny bit sick. Baby slept for a 4 hour stretch last night plus some other bits. I think maybe more sleep is making me sleepy. Anyhow, I feel not great, it's cold, and though the house is messy I don't want to clean. Husband
- [Home again](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/04/2011-11-04-home-again/) - Baby and I spent the last week up at my parents' home. Husband was out of town for work and it seemed like a good idea. He wouldn't worry about me alone in the house, and I would have more help and eliminate my morning and evening drives with baby, one of my biggest sources
- [Who I am](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/03/2011-11-03-who-i-am/) - I went to a talk today at the university on story-telling and healing. I was expecting something uber-intellectual: any time the word "narrative" is used, things can tend to skew towards the unintelligible. In actuality, the presentation was a great example of getting real. The speaker was very down to earth. She let us connect
- [Schooling dreams (Nov. 2 post)](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/03/2011-11-03-schooling-dreams-nov-2-post/) - It seems I can't log into wordpress from my laptop the last two days. I have no idea why, it is frustrating, but I will survive. For now, I'll email this post to myself and put it up tomorrow from work.*************** I'm reading a book about Montessori education right now and it is informing, inspiring
- [Hair Beware](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/01/2011-11-01-hair-beware/) - I am suffering from hair woes. I have great hair, but it rarely looks great. It usually is a big messy mess. Again, my hair is awesome. Super-healthy, thick, curly, shiny. I love my hair. The difficulty is finding the time and enthusiasm to wash it and style it. It's something I never learned how
- [Wow. Just wow.](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/11/01/2011-11-01-wow-just-wow/) - Note: Wordpress acted up yesterday and wouldn't let me login. I wrote this post yesterday and emailed it to myself. Fortunately I can get back in this morning, so here it is from last night.************ Baby is amazing me today. First, she heads for the bathroom, confirming with a little waving fist that she has
- [Designing Spaces](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/30/2011-10-30-designing-spaces/) - Last night husband and I started to put our future-home ideas down on paper. FUN! And surprisingly challenging! I can describe in words how I want my ideal home to look, but when I sit down with paper and try to sketch it things get weird quickly. The one plan I started had a long
- [Celebration of Elimination](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/29/2011-10-29-celebration-of-elimination/) - The last few days have been particularly full. Of excrement. And related body fluids. Baby is not into diapers and often resistant to going to the potty of late. So we let her scamper across the bed and then have to change the sheets or duvet. Or wipe off the top of the table (mom,
- [Space Needs](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/28/2011-10-28-space-needs/) - Husband and I watched a short PBS video today about tiny homes (under 400 sq. ft.). We are inspired! Probably the most exciting thing for me is imagining how we could properly downsize and avoid accumulating more and more clutter if we had less and better organized space. Weekday mornings are a bit crazy around
- [101?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/27/2011-10-27-101/) - Well. Another day, another post. Only 264 to go after today. That's still a pretty big number. I had planned the afternoon off to write. However, I've been feeling behind on some of my case work and wanted to get out some replies by the weekend. I decided to work through the afternoon - and
- [100](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/26/2011-10-26-100/) - 100 days of blogging. 100 days (so far) of peace. How's it going? I can't believe what a strong habit this has become, and with minimal effort. Once I started, blogging had its own momentum. I simply know that I will blog once a day, and I do it. My husband helps remind me and
- [Pretty peaceful day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/25/2011-10-25-pretty-peaceful-day/) - Today was a day off/writing day. Delightful! Take-off in the morning took longer than usual, but we got off happy and calm. Delivered baby to mom: no problem. Work on the paper went well! I cut it down to about 7500 words, including the reference list - I think that's excluded from the word count,
- [Choosing peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/24/2011-10-24-choosing-peace/) - I was going to blog tonight something about choosing peace in our lives. Just half an hour ago I was thinking through the post. However, it's 9:35, I"m sitting down to write, and I have NO RECOLLECTION of what I was going to say. That's right: complete writer's amnesia. It might have been: more about
- [Great event](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/23/2011-10-23-great-event/) - We went to the Urban Harvest harvesty fall-like celebration thing today - on an organic farm outside town. It's the type of place and event that we want more of in our lives. Beautiful site. Organic orchards. Gardens too. Great old house with lots of out buildings, arbors, neat structures. The walkways flow well and
- [On Top or Not](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/22/2011-10-22-on-top-or-not/) - Getting and having things done is very soothing to me. Learning to let go of things not done is very healthy for me. And figuring out which to focus on is the challenge. Things I'm on top of (let's add "usually"): Laundry (aside from a pile-up of dry clothes a few days ago) Dishes and
- [Writing Insights](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/21/2011-10-21-writing-insights/) - Last week I had a meeting with a tenured faculty member in education to get some feedback on a paper I've been working on for 5 years. I last touched it the day before baby was born, aside from a few touch-ups in the days before the meeting. She is a wonderful encouraging mentor for
- [Actions for Peace - or not](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/20/2011-10-20-actions-for-peace-or-not/) - Two mini experiments in peace seeking today. 1. Last night, I went to bed with baby at 8 & slept 3 hours, nursing her a bit after 11. I got up then to blog and play on the computer. And for no good reason, I checked my work email, and read an email that left
- [Now now now](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/19/2011-10-19-now-now-now/) - I want to work harder on being in the now. Right now. Not tomorrow, the distant future, any other time. This morning we were out at the car, getting ready to go. I was standing around while my husband played a bit with baby. All was well. Baby was super happy. The car was a
- [Baha'i blowout!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/18/2011-10-18-bahai-blowout/) - "Blowout" was a favourite expression of a friend in grad school. He used it to describe anything that was more abundant than usual. So, in my quiet life, today was a bit of a Baha'i blowout. First incident: Reading an article in The Chronicle of Higher Ed. Actually, an advice column about dealing with interview
- [Cutest Cutest](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/17/2011-10-17-cutest-cutest/) - Our little 1-year-old continues to amaze me. Crawling over with an open mouth so I can stuff some fried greens in. Shaking a cloth napkin wildly in front of her face, big big grin! Lifting up a whole tin filled with flour, arms wrapped around it, and rotating on her bum on the floor. Climbing
- [Cure for the grumps](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/16/2011-10-16-cure-for-the-grumps/) - Husband and I were both a bit grumpy this morning. Not quite sure why, but we each had our own reasons for being slightly off and not the most cheerful. We left the house and vowed that we would cheer up, but it didn't happen right away. Finally, after much organizing and reorganizing and putting
- [Keep it Simple: Birthday edition](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/15/2011-10-15-keep-it-simple-birthday-edition/) - Today we had baby's birthday party. A big, blow-out party, you ask? No. We agree that for our family, we want to keep celebrations family-focused, comfortable and nurturing rather than frenetic, healthy, and affordable. We're starting with her first birthday and hope to keep it up. We had family over - 6 guests total. My
- [Letting the moment be](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/14/2011-10-14-letting-the-moment-be/) - Baby's birthday today. One year she has been with us. And we've been parents for one year. What a massive transformation in our lives! I took her for a walk this afternoon. It was getting near naptime and she was fussy, but as we strolled she showed no signs of sleep. We went down a
- [One year ago](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/13/2011-10-13-one-year-ago/) - One year ago today, I woke up to intermittent cramping in my belly. I settled in for 4 hours of work on a paper, finishing the draft which I'd been working on for several years. I went for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. As the contractions continued, we went out to dinner with our
- [One wish](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/12/2011-10-12-one-wish/) - Imagine that you are given one wish for the planet. The big kahuna - world peace - is off the table. Instead, you have to choose one of the lesser issues to address: hunger, global warming, slavery, for example. If I had my wish, I would abolish sleep training from the planet. Why this, out
- [One of those days](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/11/2011-10-11-one-of-those-days/) - I'd love to write something more uplifting. So here's a combo. Today was one of those days. Baby slept in until 8 which would have been great on the weekend but made the morning kind of rushed. At work just in time for a multi-hour training call with Vancouver. I realized as we started that
- [Fragments](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/10/2011-10-10-fragments/) - Long weekend. So great, so fast. With our girl's increasing vocabulary recognition, tonight I found myself having to SPELL A WORD so she wouldn't tune in to what I was saying. She loves the picture of the little girl on the dishsoap bottle and I didn't want her to play with it, so I spelled
- [Peace and Productivity and Computer Time](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/09/2011-10-09-peace-and-productivity-and-computer-time/) - Today I had a lovely, relaxed 45 min. to myself. My husband took my daughter for a walk after breakfast and I sat in front of my laptop at my writing desk (how great that I have a writing desk now! Though the area can get cluttered, I love it and all the things I'm
- [Patience and Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/08/2011-10-08-patience-and-peace/) - Patience is one of the keys to my inner peace. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. Baby's eating habits are testing my patience lately. She's become quite expert at eating, but when she doesn't want a certain food, she sends it flying. This morning after the pear made its way over the edge of
- [Baby Mania](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/07/2011-10-07-baby-mania/) - Today she ate two pickles. Two. Pickles. I have no idea how she chewed them up to swallow, but she did. We were eating lunch and she signed "eat" and pointed to my plate. I offered her the biryani, which she sternly rejected. "Eat!" I offered her the pickle, half as a joke. She grabbed
- [Figuring out the body](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/06/2011-10-06-figuring-out-the-body/) - Well, tonight we decided that I would go off the elimination diet. Why? I really don't know. But I was hungry, and tired of being hungry. We went out for pizza for dinner. Baby thoroughly enjoyed herself. So did we. And after dinner ... my stomach didn't feel so great! This is the longest stretch
- [Priorities](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/05/2011-10-05-priorities/) - Tonight I kind of felt like writing about appearance. Specifically, how I wish I could be okay with the way I look, dress, etc., instead of being disappointed on a regular basis for not taking care of my appearance. On the other hand, I could write about things that are a lot more important. Global
- [Choices](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/04/2011-10-04-choices/) - Tonight was another long, unpredictable saga. I don't know if I want to repeat it. I went to yoga after work and actually enjoyed it. I found myself thinking how important it is to have balance and to take one hour a week for my body. The stretching etc. felt good and I felt more
- [peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/03/2011-10-03-peace/) - I'm feeling some peace today. Not quite sure why, but it's good. I'm quite exhausted - early mornings with no nap - but feel okay about it. Girlie is sick (a cold) but we're dealing with it. The drive to/from work, while still not really fun, has a lot more moments of calm lately as
- [Live life with zest (and spices)](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/02/2011-10-02-live-life-with-zest-and-spices/) - Out to dinner tonight, our girl gave us a good example of how to get the most out of life. Out to a restaurant with husband's relatives, she was signing for a while that she wanted to eat. We tried pretty much everything we'd brought: steamed yam, beans, broccoli, rice cake, fried zucchini, plum. Nope.
- [Communication Explosion](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/10/01/2011-10-01-communication-explosion/) - Over the past week our baby's ability to communicate her needs to us - and our ability to read her signals - has increased dramatically. I started signing with her a couple of months ago, but very sporadically. I usually remembered to do the "potty" signal when she was on the potty, but aside from
- [Being Here](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/30/2011-09-30-being-here/) - This moment is only here now. And each moment and each day, I don't live up to my hopes for being a mother. But I also love and treasure the moments (most moments - some are not quite so much fun!). Like earlier today, out doing errands, carrying and loving my daughter but still carting
- [Breastfeeding Blues](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/29/2011-09-29-breastfeeding-blues/) - I'm going through another bout of frustration and worry about breastfeeding. This one must have been brought on by our switch out of donated breastmilk to formula - we're making one from goat's milk. And there's a lot going on around that: regular store trips to get the milk, wondering if we're making it right,
- [Typical Evening](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/28/2011-09-28-typical-evening/) - Tonight was fairly typical of how work nights go. Fine but long. It's 11:30. How did this happen? Pick up baby from work. Try to nurse. Pack up and leave. Most pleasantly, she fell asleep on the way home after a few complaints. Sweet sweet baby. I try to enjoy the drive time each day,
- [The problem with me-time](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/27/2011-09-27-the-problem-with-me-time/) - Once you're a mom, people will give you a lot of advice about making sure you still make time for yourself. Take care of yourself. Don't lose yourself. Pamper yourself. Take care of your needs. True. But still, though I know that on a basic level this is true (if I'm exhausted, grumpy, sick and
- [Long Nights](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/26/2011-09-26-long-nights/) - Time with baby can sometimes spread well into the evening, and beyond. That's what it's felt like lately: long. Last night baby must have woken up 5+ times. Poor husband had to get up at least 4 times to warm a bottle (if I try and do it, the crying escalates in the interval so
- [Funny and Not](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/25/2011-09-25-funny-and-not/) - Today was a day. Not stellar. Husband wasn't feeling well (headache). The day felt long and blah. However, I did get to go on a 3-hour outing with baby. Actually not so bad! It was car-free day downtown so we walked and saw some people and left husband home to clean the house etc. Some
- [68](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/24/2011-09-24-68/) - I think this is my 68th post. Over 2 months of blogging once/day. Yay! I'm feeling a little burnt out! Sometimes I have things to say. Sometimes I don't. And rarely do I have a big chunk of time to reflectively write. Sometimes, that's my fault. Like tonight. Baby in bed by 8. Not much
- [Expectations and Elimination](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/23/2011-09-23-expectations-and-elimination/) - Today's lunch: better than anticipated. I was there first, sitting with baby, and a friendly face came around the corner. We recognized each other; he brought a gift for baby which she enjoyed. It's interesting for me to consider what I expected. I was expecting a high-powered, full-of-himself networking-obsessed status-seeking go-getter. The type of person
- [Long Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/22/2011-09-22-long-day/) - I wish my recent posts were a bit more uplifting. However, I'm feeling more pulled in too many directions. With high points, but tired at the end. Saw the dermatologist this morning. Helpful to see an expert; helpful information. Basically we're going to continue the food elimination but try and do it as quickly as
- [Day of Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/21/2011-09-21-day-of-peace/) - Today is International Day of Peace. I must admit that I did not feel very peaceful much of the day. Rushing out of the house in the morning. At my mom's my car broke down: a hose that my husband and BIL had temporarily fixed burst, leaking fluid all over. I was angry, mainly at
- [Body Update](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/20/2011-09-20-body-update/) - So, finally something about a very important topic: body and health. Yes, I do agree that the limited time I give it on the blog reflects at least to some degree the low priority I place on self-care. Unfortunate! Since baby was born, choosing to have time just to myself has not been that important
- [Blog blog blog](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/19/2011-09-19-blog-blog-blog/) - I feel blogged out tonight. Lots going on. Cutie girl in the bed. Work is busy, good and challenging. House is in order. Bills to pay. Interesting websites to read. Reading an old conversation on facebook with a friend - didn't realize we'd written so much goign back to 2007 and it's a really interesting
- [More Joy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/18/2011-09-18-more-joy/) - Picture this: A petite 11-month-old girl standing at the top of the stairs, holding on to the security gate with both hands. Shaking that gate. Banging her head back and forth. And screaming at the top of her lungs. I need more of that. Hanging out with my girl helps. She makes me laugh more
- [Prayer](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/17/2011-09-17-prayer/) - Thinking about prayer. About how important it is; how many aspects of life can benefit from prayer; how I can pray more. I think about my daughter's eczema, which is getting worse. I'm so glad we're going to a specialist next week, and that I'm pursuing this diet (talk about a change in attitude from
- [Sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/16/2011-09-16-sleep/) - Were it not for this blog, I would be sleeping right now beside my adorable baby. But here I am. And with just a few updates, there I go. Long week, no nap today, I need to sleep. We saw the doctor for baby's eczema today. He's referred us to a dermatologist and supports my
- [Digging](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/15/2011-09-15-digging/) - Tonight I really feel like complaining. I want to write out the things I want to complain about. Just one or two ... please? I also do not feel like blogging. I want to sleep. Now. However, I'm going to dig a bit and write at least one thing peace-related. I've been noticing at work
- [Milk Shake](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/14/2011-09-14-milk-shake/) - Milky questions have been keeping me up and bringing me down. We are nearing the end of our donated milk supply. All the wonderful women who have pumped for us and donated to us aren't able to help out anymore. I'm looking online for donors through Human Milk 4 Human Babies, but there aren't many
- [Time, Time, Time](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/13/2011-09-13-time-time-time/) - I can't believe the busyness lately. And I know this topic is getting repetitive. But really: where does the time go?? Up first thing with baby. Rush rush to get to work - get there 2 - 3.5 hours later (??? eating, feeding, cleaning, dressing, packing, loading car, driving, unloading car, settling baby, maybe nursing,
- [More up and down and all around](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/12/2011-09-12-more-up-and-down-and-all-around/) - Today was an emotional day for me. So much going on, so little time, not enough sleep. Baby slept in this morning, so I did too (she's my alarm clock). We made it out in time, but it meant we didn't get a lot of bonding time in the morning. And the drive there was
- [Big & Little Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/11/2011-09-11-big-little-peace/) - Tonight we went to an interfaith prayer gathering. They've been having this one for a number of years on September 11. Its focus is more broad than just the events of 9/11; the participants spoke about peace, global injustices, unity, our responsibilities as global citizens. I spoke as a member of the Baha'i community, reading
- [Peaceful sleep?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/10/2011-09-10-peaceful-sleep/) - Some thoughts on the relationship between peace and sleep. Sleep = peace Sick, teething, overtired = no sleep = no peace Not sleeping long enough = not really peace Nursing to sleep = peace and beauty Trying to nurse to sleep but having your defective breasts run out of milk = awake, crying baby =
- [Days Off and Off Days](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/09/2011-09-09-days-off-and-off-days/) - Working 4 days a week rather than 5 is a huge, huge peace-of-mind-maker. Weekends go by quickly enough as it is, and weeks too slowly. I really don't think I would feel I had enough (synonyms adequate, moderately acceptable, baseline) time with my daughter if we only had the two days at home each week.
- [Blogging by proxy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/08/2011-09-08-blogging-by-proxy/) - Yesterday was a bit of a challenging day. Baby was up a lot the night before with a fever and fussing. I wasn't sure how she would do during the day but I had a presentation and meeting so I brought her to mom's and checked up on her throughout the day. By 1:00 she
- [Mom Time](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/06/2011-09-06-mom-time/) - (argh ... opening erased ... I am TIRED and will not rewrite it. In brief: how do I spend my time, the little tiny bit I have?) So, my time. During the day I sometimes breathe. More often I quickly quickly clean - laundry, pick-up things, fill dishwasher, put away put away. Then check email/facebook.
- [Sanity money/ Inspirational parenting/ Reaching out](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/05/2011-09-05-sanity-money-inspirational-parenting-reaching-out/) - After a balanced, peaceful day yesterday, today felt off kilter. Up early with a crying baby. Trying to do too much. Grumpy. The collision between expectations and time. By 8:30 a.m. today I had played with baby, fed her breakfast & cleaned up, made granola and a loaf of bread and other chores. I wish
- [Environmental Process](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/04/2011-09-04-environmental-process/) - Today, as promised, was dedicated to a massive home & yard clean-up before the week starts. While keeping my eyes on the goal I paid particular attention today to enjoying the process and appreciating moments. The result was productivity, joy and satisfaction even though the goal was not met. A few examples: I managed to
- [Good Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/03/2011-09-03-good-day/) - I'm still o:2 on naps for this 4-day weekend, but that's not slowing down my enjoyment of a good day. Baby slept in until 8. We shared a smoothie and then the whole family went up to the blueberry patch to pick. Baby & I picked together for a while, then husband took her while
- [Peace is](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/02/2011-09-02-peace-is/) - No alarm clock. Happy morning, midday and afternoon baby. Ripe tomato in the garden. Two long walks in one day with my family. Getting started on house clean-up. Tea. Hearing from two old friends. Filing my final EI report. Fava beans. Baby asleep by 8 on my chest. Ignoring the rest of the chores until
- [Feeling Fall](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/09/01/2011-09-01-feeling-fall/) - Today is resonating with that fall feeling. Cooler, crisper weather. Orientation fair on campus and the buzz of a new semester. The end of my first week of work. Bundling up for a walk in the evening. Though summer was long-delayed and short, I don't mind these early fall days. I'm feeling cozy, connected, nested.
- [In and Out, Up and Down](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/31/2011-08-31-in-and-out-up-and-down/) - Lately I am floating in and out of a state of inner calm and contentment. My moods go up and down a lot. The stress of adjustment to our new schedules and responsibilities is definitely evident. I didn't realize how long the days get when you are working and have a baby. Mornings don't have
- [Loss/Gain](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/30/2011-08-30-lossgain/) - Returning to work is not easy. But there must be reasons I'm doing it. Today was a bit of both. On the down side is stress over my girl. Her eczema is getting a lot worse, but I don't have the time to deal with it or figure out what to do. I did a
- [Working Mom](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/29/2011-08-29-working-mom/) - Today, the start of my first full week of work, I definitely feel like a working mom. And it's too late and tomorrow's too busy to really write it all out. I've had several versions of this post running through my head but no time to complete any of them. In brief: busy productive day
- [Flow with the Unexpected](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/28/2011-08-28-flow-with-the-unexpected/) - Today didn't go as planned. And that's okay. Going with what needs to happen or simply is presented to me is a strength and weakness of mine. I kind of love it when things fall apart and I have to make things work in chaos. I also can be incredibly frustrated when plans - good,
- [Seize the Day = Peace?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/27/2011-08-27-seize-the-day-peace/) - After a reasonable day (nice dinner out with family; no nap; some happy playing and some whining) we were heading into the evening stretch. After ascertaining that neither of us was very hungry my husband made up a deluxe salad for us. Baby, however, wasn't in the best mood. Whine, whine, whine. WHINE!!! Argh argh
- [Praying](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/26/2011-08-26-praying/) - I've been trying to get back into praying more meaningfully and regularly. Baby & I say prayers morning & evening, but it's not the same thing when she's crawling all over the bed/floor/me. I think I need some divine inspiration in my life, and some inner peace, I know this is a clear path to
- [3 Stories](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/25/2011-08-25-3-stories/) - Let's start with mama guilt. Why do I feel that I should be with my daughter 24 hours a day? Why do I want to be with her all the time? I know that's how bonding hormones work: the more contact, the more you want. And I believe in being with your child lots and
- [4 oz](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/24/2011-08-24-4-oz/) - Today was my first full day at work. I had a video conference training/working session on the new policy for our office's work with my Vancouver colleagues. I survived. Baby was up just before 6; she nursed when she woke up and fell asleep on the way to my mom's. I was able to carry
- [Getting Organized](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/23/2011-08-23-getting-organized/) - Enough melancholy. It's time for me to get active and create some physical peace around me. Renos are at a pause. I'm back at work. It's time. Things have been changing over at my parents' - more and more people visiting and moving in! To make space we've been moving over the last of my
- [Up and Down](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/22/2011-08-22-up-and-down/) - I've been bouncing around emotionally a bit today. Though I feel slightly down, stressed and out of it tonight, I have to admit that overall it was a really lovely day. Baby woke up happy. Yay! Breakfast was easy and she dealt with the rinse-off in the laundry tub very well. I caught two poops.
- [Blank Screen](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/21/2011-08-21-blank-screen/) - Wow. I think this is my 34th post, and the first time I've approached the computer without a sense of what I might write about. So maybe I'll write about the experience of writing every day. It's been amazing. Knowing I would be writing something every evening, something connected with the theme of peace, has
- [Peaceful Parenting/ Parenting for Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/20/2011-08-20-peaceful-parenting-parenting-for-peace/) - The former refers to keeping my cool and perspective as a parent; the latter, parenting choices that I hope will help raise a happy, self-aware world citizen. Here are some ways I do that. Ways I fall short will come in another post. Being a Peaceful Parent. 1. Accepting the way I parent. I'm certainly
- [More Snippets](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/19/2011-08-19-more-snippets/) - Today brought some nice moments. Lovely nursing with my daughter several times - before leaving for work in the morning, after her nap at my parents', in the car before coming home. I had a meeting with the woman I mentioned earlier whose well-maintained appearance inspired me to work on my own. She commented that
- [The Blessings of the Common Cold](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/18/2011-08-18-the-blessings-of-the-common-cold/) - Several months after we were married my husband offered me an extravagant birthday gift: a trip to Europe. I was unemployed, just having finished a year of sessional teaching at the university. We had a bit of money in the bank that might have been used for loan payments but could be used for travel.
- [Keeping calm when life gets busy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/17/2011-08-17-keeping-calm-when-life-gets-busy/) - I think this is may be one of the definitions of peace. It's not something in which I excel. When I become inundated with to-dos they tend to take over my life. And then calm vanishes, peace of mind is gone, and I'm rushing all the time to get everything done. The last couple of
- [Medley](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/16/2011-08-16-medley/) - This blog is not about my daughter. However ... since she is my constant companion and sweet little love, many of my experiences and insights come from her. This one was inspiring and rejuvenating. And cute. She has developed a habit of popping off my breast while nursing to play with my nipple - push
- [One moment of peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/15/2011-08-15-one-moment-of-peace/) - Sitting in bed, holding my sleeping baby girl in my arms, feeling her breathe, gazing at her perfect sweet face.
- [Talking myself down from the edge](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/14/2011-08-14-talking-myself-down-from-the-edge/) - Over the last few days I've realized that I'm infected to an unhealthy degree with mom guilt. I never expected to be affected as much as I have been. I thought I had a reasonable sense of my own limits and needs and that I would be able to take care of my daughter while
- [Being a mom](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/13/2011-08-13-being-a-mom/) - Lately I am feeling challenged around the personal growth required by mothering. There are things I want to be as a mom: patient, understanding, accepting. And as I navigate the new demands of this time period - returning to work, busy summer - I am finding a severe lack of these qualities. Today exemplified my
- [Random Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/12/2011-08-12-random-day/) - Today did not rate high on the peace-o-meter. Baby was up until 10 the night before and I was wiped from 3 intense days in training. Sore, itchy throat last night and this morning. I tried to do too much in the morning then rush up to mom's before baby's first nap - so was
- [My Girl](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/11/2011-08-11-my-girl/) - As I've been in the mediation course the last 3 days I've been thinking more about my daughter and our relationship. This was my first serious stretch of time away from her. It was okay, but I realized that I definitely prefer maternity leave. And I loooooove my daughter and love being with her! Today
- [My Perfect Day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/11/2011-08-11-my-perfect-day/) - Note: written on a sticky note at 10:10 p.m. on Wednesday, August 10 - our server was down and I couldn't get online. Today was not a perfect day. Just as one example: one of the times I was woken last night to feed my girl I saw in my sleep-dazed state that her head
- [Mediation, Communication, Acceptance](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/09/2011-08-09-mediation-communication-acceptance/) - Today I started a 3-day course on mediation for work. As always, it's inspiring to be reminded of the basics of good communication. I feel encouraged to put them into practice in my personal life and excited about the possible enhancement to all my relationships as I use better communication methods. Just imagine how popular
- [Do what works](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/08/2011-08-08-do-what-works/) - More grumpiness today. It's hot; I start a 3-day training course tomorrow (my longest work-like stretch yet and I don't know how I will like it); Baby wasn't really into the naps today, or nursing; and I don't know, I'm just feeling stressed and frustrated. I would not say I handled it well, but I
- [Nursing Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/07/2011-08-07-nursing-peace/) - I am not there yet when it comes to peaceful acceptance of my nursing situation. Things are much further ahead than the first few months when I was alternately miserable, anxious and angry about my struggles to feed baby exclusively from the breast (see other blog for details). I have a lot more peace now
- [Family Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/06/2011-08-06-family-peace/) - Peace in the family is an ongoing renegotiated dynamic. Peace with one's family (aka acceptance, unconditional love) is similarly constantly changing. Our family is getting physically closer. My sister & her family are living in town for a month or two and hope to relocate to a nearby town. My youngest brother is moving back
- [Imperfect Peace](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/05/2011-08-05-imperfect-peace/) - Letting go of ridiculous expectations is one of those things I know will make life more peaceful. Yet unrealistic expectations (aka perfectionism) are grooved into my psyche and it takes constant conscious effort to retrack my thoughts. The thoughts inevitably lead to guilt when I don't meet expectations and all the attendant emotions reduce my
- [The Body](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/04/2011-08-04-the-body/) - I ask you: what is better than rolling around naked on your bed with a happy, fresh-from-the-bath baby? That, plus your husband cleaning up after a reno and making the back room look amazing, you say? Yes! Today I encountered quite a few things that brought me peace and joy related to the body and
- [Sigh](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/03/2011-08-03-sigh/) - More grumpiness today. Though I think I figured out why - ask and I'll tell you! At least part of it must be because I'm starting work. Tomorrow. I've been ignoring the fact that this day was coming. Yet it is here nonetheless. I love my job but I'm not ready to leave my baby
- [Fun and Joy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/02/2011-08-02-fun-and-joy/) - Two things I need more of! I'm way too good at being on task and getting things done. Useful skills, good for my job, helpful for having a clean house and well-functioning life, but not necessarily conducive to a life well lived. Oh, I agree with the argument that having things in order (physically, logistically)
- [When you don't succeed](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/08/01/2011-08-01-when-you-dont-succeed/) - Try again tomorrow! Today was complaining followed by enjoyment followed by complaining. I can do better. I had some thoughts today on fun and joy - their importance and how to get them in daily life. But it's 10:00 and I am exhausted and baby just went to sleep so those thoughts will have to
- [Day Off](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/31/2011-07-31-day-off/) - Sometimes the best thing for my own and my family's personal peace is a day off. Of course, the day is never completely "off", but it can be filled with more leisurely pursuits and time to unwind and stretch out and enjoy being. Though these things can be integrated into a regular day, a bit
- [Lengthening Moments](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/30/2011-07-30-lengthening-moments/) - Letting myself relax and enjoy moments is not something I am always good at I don't think I fully realized this until today. Sometimes I have no other things to think about, I have time and I let myself enjoy what I'm doing. Usually, I have a lot of things I want to get done
- [Small Victory](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/29/2011-07-29-small-victory/) - It's a hot, sticky day here. After a long delay summer has arrived. I find I'm not as heat tolerant as I was as a youth! Regardless, it's a real treat to have sun and heat and I hope it helps our garden grow. Today I achieved a small personal peace victory: mind over mind.
- [Tired](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/28/2011-07-28-tired/) - I wanted to title this "exhausted" but realized that I'm not there yet. But I am tired after some frequent night wake-ups, bottle needs (sometimes night nursing is enough - not the last 2 nights) and up later than usual. But I know other people are tireder. I've met a couple moms recently who each
- [Move](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/27/2011-07-27-move/) - Some lessons I learn right away; others I need to learn over and over each day. Being present with my daughter is, unfortunately, one of the latter. Today was a whiny day. For her, for me. I whined in the middle of the night when she woke up as usual and gave her "I'm hungry,
- [Pay Attention](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/26/2011-07-26-pay-attention/) - Being at peace with yourself - aka being in the moment, detachment, self-love, other synonyms - has the side benefit of helping you tune into your environment and those around you. I realized today how much this can enrich parenting. We are doing a watered-down version of elimination communication EC with Baby where we put
- [Day 7: Breathing is addictive](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/25/2011-07-25-day-7-breathing-is-addictive/) - Wow, the end of one week of my new project. I guess that means 51 more weeks to go (followed by a lifetime, of course). This first week I've focused on laying the foundation for peace within myself by practicing some good habits and making time and space for good moments in my close relationships.
- [Make your own magic](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/24/2011-07-24-make-your-own-magic/) - Baby is still awake as I type, wriggling in a [break to go nurse wriggling and tired baby, followed by rocking sleeping baby, followed by walking with crying baby, followed by trying to lie baby down to sleep while still crying which actually works for the first time, combined with some gentle jiggling] carrier. It's
- [More Moments](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/23/2011-07-23-more-moments/) - At some point I will break out and add something new to the routine, but for now, deepening the few things I've just started is extremely rewarding. It is satisfying to be praying more regularly. It is relaxing to be doing some breathing time (most) days. It is enriching and the whole point of it
- [Can you meditate beside a sleeping baby?](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/22/2011-07-22-can-you-meditate-beside-a-sleeping-baby/) - It's not quite a zen koan, but it is a real paradox I faced today. Meditating every day is actually sometimes hard to do. Only 4 days in and well ... I haven't meditated 4 times. So today while baby napped I thought it was a great opportunity to try sitting beside her on the
- [Adorability](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/22/2011-07-22-adorability/) - I think I've posted multiple times already about how adorable she is. So one more time won't hurt!When she's eating something she likes, she says "umm, numm, nummm." She screams when she's happy! She spent about half an hour tonight playing on the bed with her new stuffed dog. She'd bounce the dog, chew the
- [Day 3: Persistence](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/21/2011-07-21-day-3-persistence/) - Did I really just start a project involving writing a blog post every day for a whole year? Yes I did. We will see how it unfolds, but for now it's going one day at a time. Today was a busier, crazier, sicker day than I planned. I hoped to get up early, go to
- [Linking inside and outside](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/20/2011-07-20-linking-inside-and-outside/) - Today was about not getting annoyed when things don't go my way. I can't claim complete success, but I stayed aware and chose mostly to be up rather than down. Let's start with a drive across the lake with Baby to a friend's to pick up some milk, and two stops along the way owing
- [Start from the Centre](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/19/2011-07-19-start-from-the-centre/) - I can't change the world if I don't work on myself. At least, that's a tenet of my working philosophy, and it's important to me. It's been stated in many ways: practice what you preach; let deeds, not words be your adorning; don't be a hypocrite; and on and on the advice goes to start
- [Motherhood & Creativity](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/18/2011-07-18-motherhood-creativity/) - Over the past few months I've begun to percolate with ideas. I'm bursting with energy to make and create. Starting with crafts: I HAD to make headbands for my girl (4 of them - none really worked - who cares??) and have some new fabric to make 2 more. Then a purse: I've had the
- [Origins](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/17/2011-07-17-hello-world/) - Life for the past few years has kept me in constant motion, through extremes I never would have imagined. With a move back home from the States - jobless, newly single and wiped out emotionally and physically from the strain of trying to make it on my own - I was living with my parents
- [Balance](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/07/04/2011-07-04-balance/) - We had our second "discussion gathering thingie" this afternoon at our friends' home on the theme of "balance." Balance for me is a reminder to take care of everything I need to take care of, not just those things that are easy or convenient. And as a mother, or perhaps as a woman who now
- [More baby updates!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/06/06/2011-06-06-more-baby-updates/) - First tooth! She bit me yesterday - a gum bite as she latched on - and was kind of looking at me to see what I thought. I reacted with an "Ow!" and "No. Don't bite mommy." She seemed okay with this and latched again to nurse. And today I thought I saw a flash
- [Financial Blindness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/31/2011-05-31-financial-blindness/) - I've thought for a while that I'm pretty good with my finances. I watch my spending, balance my credit card statements and pay it off in full every month, have been paying down my student loans, keep track of our spending on the computer and live within my means. Part-way through Gail Vaz-Oxlade's Debt-Free Forever
- [Self-sufficiency](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/31/2011-05-31-self-sufficiency/) - We are not self-sufficient. Definitely not frontiers-people. However, I have been noticing some of the things we do ourselves that are definitely lifestyle choices we make. Sometimes it's cheaper to do it ourselves; sometimes healthier; sometimes tastier; sometimes we do it just because. Some of the things we've been making/doing around here:Growing veggies Starting some
- [Fragments](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/28/2011-05-28-fragments/) - It's amazing watching the mind of our baby unfold. My mom just taught her how to make sounds when mom taps her hand over her mouth. And smarty-smart baby figured out a day later how to use her own hand to do the same thing. I love love having a piano in the house. I
- [Anxiety-Guilt Interface](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/26/2011-05-26-anxiety-guilt-interface/) - I have recently begun to notice (possibly it's been there for a while) a frustrating synthesis of anxiety and guilt when I'm looking after my daughter. Not always. But sometimes I get the feeling that there is more I should be doing with her. That I should be stimulating her brain more, paying closer attention
- [Baby Damage](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/26/2011-05-26-baby-damage/) - Now that she's bigger, my cutie pie is starting to inflict some bigger impacts, if you will, on her mama. Pinching and scratching while nursing for one - yes I try to stop her, and no it doesn't work. Chomping down on my nipple is also sometimes popular, though she seems to get that she
- [Accelerating Cutenesses](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/24/2011-05-24-accelerating-cutenesses/) - Every time I turn around, cutie pie is doing more adorable things! Latest include: Loving her reflection in the mirror! May have already described ... even twisting while on the change table to get a glimpse of herself, then smiling, laughing, bouncing. Definite babbling! Consonants are coming out of her mouth now. And she gums
- [Wow my sweetie!!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/17/2011-05-17-wow-my-sweetie/) - Still in love with my daughter :). She has a few new things lately that are delighting me. Kicking her feet against the toilet when she sits on it Expanding her vocal range by screaming AS LOUDLY AS SHE CAN Her sweet, soft, sweet voice talking to her food! "eh! Unh! Ehmmmeuh!" urgent noises she
- [Thoughts on Sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/17/2011-05-17-thoughts-on-sleep/) - I've been absorbing sleep "facts" from a wide range of sources, listening to conversations, participating in conversations, and generally trying to make sense of the sleep question: Should you try to get your baby to sleep? If so, how? Here's where I'm at with it now. 1. Biology: babies have more light sleep and faster
- [More baby love](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/11/2011-05-11-more-baby-love/) - Oh my sweetie. While in the Ergo she now plants her face, wide-open mouth, on my chest and kisses/sucks me. It cracks me up and tickles at the same time.She's like a little wind-up toy - just before she crashes she's going, going, going, then suddenly asleep. Her little sighs as she's nursing, finished nursing,
- [Letter to the CBC](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/10/2011-05-10-letter-to-the-cbc/) - I just sent this letter to the show "White Coat, Black Art" which ran a segment today on guilt, formula feeding and breast feeding: As a mother who hasn't been able to produce enough breast milk for my baby (we supplement my breast milk with donated milk and formula), I listened with interest to this
- [1 Scene, Many Readings](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/08/2011-05-08-1-scene-many-readings/) - A while back baby & I wandered to the library on a Saturday to return some books. Turns out it was the anniversary celebration for the library - speeches, cake and prizes. I entered both our names in the draw and my name was pulled! I could pick from a number of sets of books.
- [Importance of Support](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/07/2011-05-07-importance-of-support/) - I think of myself as pretty independent and strong-minded. I tend to do what I want regardless of others' views. Growing up in a different religion with a strange last name and a foreign look definitely help. All the same, lately I've seen the value of being around those who can support you in what
- [Getting Things Done vs. Being](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/06/2011-05-06-getting-things-done-vs-being/) - I am currently being. Sort of. Napped with Alya this morning. Went shopping for plants and seeds at a cool seed farm (sunshine farms) on the edge of town - that was both, really. Lunch with a friend. Some bustling during nap#2 but now chilling in bed with tea, laptop & baby, waiting for another
- [Newest thing](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/06/2011-05-06-newest-thing/) - She will pop off while nursing and gaze at my nipple. And grab it with both hands and wiggle it back and forth. And talk with it. And put it in her mouth and babble with it, listening to how it changes her sounds. And finally open her mouth like a baby Tyrannosaurus and lunge
- [Completion and Process](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/05/04/2011-05-04-completion-and-process/) - I don't know if these two can coexist, but I'm trying. To be the mom I want to be I know that process - being in the moment - matter. I also know that there are things that need doing: food to prepare, wills to write, errands to undertake - that keep us all healthy,
- [Baby Care Time](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/27/2011-04-27-baby-care-time/) - After thinking over her thesis on baby care - that it shouldn't exist as a separate, time-consuming event, but should be integrated into the life and work of adults - I have to wonder if Jean Liedloff ever had children. A couple nights ago I returned from grocery shopping and started preparing dinner at 4:15.
- [New Cutenesses](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/26/2011-04-26-new-cutenesses/) - After drinking (especially if she was really hungry and crying before), she suddenly settles and monologues in a loud voice with her little lips sticking out. In the car before falling asleep she talks and announces things loudly, then suddenly crashes. Grabbing her colourful PJs from last night and laughing at them. Sucking her bath
- [Mommy Learning](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/25/2011-04-25-mommy-learning/) - I realized tonight that there are a lot of things I understand or see a lot more clearly now that I have a baby. Including:-public bathrooms need change tables, or at least useful counter space. Do you really want someone to lay a baby down on a bathroom floor? -Babies bring joy, even when they
- [The Continuum Concept](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/22/2011-04-22-the-continuum-concept/) - Interesting book - the continuum referring to our evolutionary continuum and our adaptation to the norms of that evolution. From her perspective these include being worn or carried constantly until crawling; being at the centre of the action of adult life without being the focus of the action; learning by observation and direct experience; being
- [Addiction](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/20/2011-04-20-addiction/) - I have a serious addiction. To The Gilmore Girls. I used to dislike the show. Didn't watch it; wished I liked it because it would theoretically be fun to watch, but in practice I found it annoying, superficial, too fast and shallow. Also not deep. When I was in Switzerland a couple summers ago I
- [Baby Food](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/20/2011-04-20-baby-food/) - We're starting Alya on solids. So far she's had banana and mango, and sucked on a carrot and watermelon radish (a must-try vegetable). We tried with a spoon - she didn't like being fed so we're planning to let her play with the food and get it into her mouth herself. In other words, we're
- [Time](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/20/2011-04-20-time/) - Life with baby is making me think more than usual about time. What is it, where does it go, and how do I choose to spend what I have. Getting the right relationship with time is really important to me now, as it affects the quality of my time with baby, my enjoyment of life,
- [More about baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/15/2011-04-15-more-about-baby/) - The other night baby was up for a snack and then I laid her down beside me to sleep again. She was still wriggly lovey and was reaching out grabbing my nose, hair, mouth and everything else. To calm her I caught her fingers between my lips held them still - calming for her, less
- [Magic and Being](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/13/2011-04-13-magic-and-being/) - As I rush through day after day, spending time with Alya and trying to get things done on the never-ending to-do list, I am realizing that life with baby will be as magical as I make it. And that magic is generally found in the moment, not in the planning or future. I have so
- [6 Months](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/13/2011-04-13-6-months/) - Thursday will be 6 months with our sweet girl. Sometimes I look at her and cannot believe that she exists - that she wasn't, and now she is. Other times I look at her, watching her personality emerge, and wonder who she is and who she will become. My mind can't fully grasp a lifetime
- [Notes from mommyland](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/04/05/2011-04-05-notes-from-mommyland/) - It's 9:43 p.m. We are taking advantage of Alya sleeping to GET THINGS DONE!! Some fun, more practical (bill paying, email catchup). And a quick update. 1. Starting an early bedtime for Alya was one of the best things we've done. Start with a bath around 6:30 or 7, then food, prayer, rock and she
- [Maturity](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/30/2011-03-30-maturity/) - I just read "When the body says no" by Gabor Mate - highly recommend it. The book illuminates the role that unconscious stress - associated with internalized, unexpressed emotions, generally stemming from unstable or problematic childhoods - manifests as diseases in our body. The book inspired me to look more closely at the legacy of
- [Feeding Baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/23/2011-03-23-feeding-baby-2/) - I've just read Feeding your baby the healthiest foods by Louise Lambert-Lagace. I didn't love it - though I'm sure she does present the latest research, her tone and overall recommendations are pretty traditional (start with grains, breast milk not needed past one year and weaning is good, start with purees, nothing on donated milk,
- [Truths about momhood](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/18/2011-03-18-truths-about-momhood/) - Alya's 5 months old. It's high time I reflect on core truths about being a mom, and my deepest vision of the type of mother I want to be. Here goes. 1. When I am with my child, I am present. 2. I respond to all aspects of her being with love and compassion -
- [Fighting it](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/18/2011-03-18-fighting-it/) - Trying to put Alya to bed. She is tired. But her body won't give in. Stretch, wiggle, kick, turn, head rub into me, eye rub, arms flail, back arch, and start all over. This side, that side, on and on. I rock her, sing, rub her back, but she's not having any of it. Finally
- [Revelation](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/11/2011-03-11-revelation/) - Oh dear. I want to be a stay-at-home mom. I've always had a vision of staying home with kids. And for years I said as a matter of course that I wanted to stay home at least until the kids were all in school. However, these were the words of a naive young woman who
- [Cutenesses](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/10/2011-03-10-cutenesses/) - Adorable things Alya does. When she's hungry, as she's reaching for the nipple, she says "Leh" or "Heh-leh" - it's her "word" for milk, hungry, etc.! The way she comes off the breast sometimes when she's feeding but not super-hungry, and just stares at me, big dark eyes, no blinking, just staring. And after a
- [Purging UPdate](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/05/2011-03-05-purging-update/) - The other elimination. My quest to get our possessions down to a minimum continues. Sometimes the process is sheer joy; other times work; occasionally, a frustrating obsession. I've been a bit out of it the last few days, not wanting to socialize or go anywhere as I pawed through boxes and cupboards to find things
- [Elimination Update](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/05/2011-03-05-elimination-update/) - Alya & I continue our learning adventure around bathroom fun. And fun it sometimes is, until my anxiety gets in the way! We have some days that are winners: 8+ pees caught, sometimes a dry diaper for several hours in a row. Victory! And yesterday we caught not only many pees but her end-of-day poo.
- [Truth and Growth](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/03/01/2011-03-01-truth-and-growth/) - Alexis has a post up about Things that are True. Her list, and my ongoing questions from being a new mom, crystallize around these two topics. What are the truths I want to live my life by, and establish as the foundation of the family in which we raise our beloved daughter? And how do
- [And it goes on](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/02/16/2011-02-16-and-it-goes-on/) - I missed poop #4 as well. In my defense, it was a quieter, unexpected explosion. But #5: I saw the fussiness, took the signal, sat her on the potty with a bottle in her mouth, and caught it!! Smiles, celebrations. The next day I had a number of catches, including in the bathroom at Chapters
- [Exciting Learning](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/02/15/2011-02-15-exciting-learning/) - Today I learned that when Alya is pooping, she will refuse to nurse and cry when I bring her near the breast, all while insisting on downing a bottle - followed by extreme calm and silence. This would be a helpful signal to get her on the potty if I could remember it for more
- [Time to go, mommy says](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/02/10/2011-02-10-time-to-go-mommy-says/) - The other night Alya & I went to a birthday party for our doula's daughter who's turning 5. It was big outing for us: M wasn't able to come so we went alone, and it was a party, and it was at night. But we love our doula and her daughter, and we had a
- [A poop in 3 movements](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/02/10/2011-02-10-a-poop-in-3-movements/) - Sitting on the couch with Alya. She's eaten, and she gets that look in her eye ... so I rush her to the bedroom, take off the diaper and plop her on the potty. She's perfectly happy to sit there, but nothing comes out. So into the bathroom we go, as it's bathtime. I try
- [Sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/02/03/2011-02-03-sleep-2/) - Relatively speaking, sleep hasn't been the biggest issue with Alya. In the beginning, if anything, she slept too much and nursed too little (though that may have also been due to not enough milk). We still sometimes get 5 or 6 hour stretches at night, and very often 3 hours or more. However, we also
- [First Catch](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/01/24/2011-01-24-first-catch/) - Yesterday after a diaper change I had an impulse to put Alya on the little potty we have (Baby Bjorn - simple, good design, cute!). She sat for a few minutes and smiled and then, as I said "Psss" ... pee came out! I lifted her up and there it was ... we caught our
- [A good day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/01/23/2011-01-23-a-good-day/) - Friday was a good day! Woke up rested with cutie pie cuddling on my chest. Mom visited and we sorted through a box of baby clothes. A lovely visit with a friend and her mom. Then a trip out to visit a friend and pick up milk - good conversation about babies, partners and spirituality.
- [Big Girl](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/01/20/2011-01-20-big-girl/) - Alya's been growing and changing at Supergirl rates! Some of her recent advances: Even more smiling! Almost all the time, barring when she's desperate for food. Supporting her weight, and bending and straightening her legs while doing it. Sitting up! Okay, she will fall over if not guided, but she can sit up and hold
- [Second Guessing](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/01/20/2011-01-20-second-guessing/) - I'm reading a book called "Defining your own success" about breastfeeding after breast reduction surgery. Though that's not my situation, it has been recommended as it addresses ways to deal with reduced lactation. The book is mainly inspiring as the author firmly believes that any breastfeeding is better than none - the benefits of even
- [Nursing Tales](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/01/20/2011-01-20-nursing-tales/) - We had our first public nursing emergency this week. On our way with some errands, Alya was awake as we left the house and still awake as I pulled into a gas station. She was calm as I started the pump, but when I got back into the car I realized she was crying -
- [Supply Management](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/01/10/2011-01-10-supply-management/) - I can't stop thinking about milk production, so I thought I might as well write about it. Though my supply is low, I still could continue nursing Alya into toddlerhood, and that is my current goal. To do that, I will need to maximize and maintain my existing milk supply. And to do that, given
- [Bottles](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2011/01/09/2011-01-09-bottles/) - Now that we know I don't make enough milk, and we will be supplementing indefinitely, we invested in a set of 6 glass bottles with slow flow nipples to simplify the feeding process. However, it's never simple. I could complain for hours about all the nuisance and frustration associated with not being able to nurse
- [End of the Line = New Plan](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/26/2010-12-26-end-of-the-line-new-plan/) - After more research and ongoing limits to my milk supply, I've realized that it is not going to increase. I've been learning about hypoplastic tubular breast syndrome (http://www.007b.com/breast_size_breastfeeding.php) and reading more about women who are not able to increase their supply no matter what (following this discussion thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/110168/does-anyone-else-have-insuffient-glandular-tissue/100). After my visit to the breastfeeding
- [More Names](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/26/2010-12-26-more-names/) - Supergirl: when she raises her arms above her head. Also, since her neck is stronger, when M holds her she looks like she's flying! Stevie: Because she loves to bob her head around and look at everything. Stretchy Monster: When waking or after eating, she's the queen (and monster) of stretch! Her back arches, her
- [Deja-Do](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/16/2010-12-16-deja-do/) - So many aspects of being a parent feel like I've experienced them before. When Alya first started nursing, in spite of the challenges and frustration, I had a deep sense that I had nursed before - not just the day before, but years before or in another life. Similarly, holding her, sleeping with her, caring
- [Breastfeeding Update](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/14/2010-12-14-breastfeeding-update/) - It changes day to day. When things go badly I need to remember that the next day will probably go differently. She has started to feed more contentedly at the breast, now going some feedings without requesting or requiring supplementation after. Other times, she's so eager for food she won't hold her latch so we
- [New things about Alya](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/12/2010-12-12-new-things-about-alya/) - She is becoming a big girl!! In the past few days she has started to talk with us more, making longer series of sounds. Her smiles have increased, and her amount of awake time. When awake she is aware and content, looking around, smiling, sucking her fist or waving her arms or just observing. She
- [Best Moment](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/12/2010-12-12-best-moment/) - Sometimes, she latches well for nursing and nurses long. As she winds down her eyes close and there are more pauses between rounds of sucking. And at the very end she suddenly picks up her vigour, sucking intensely and circling her head around, still hanging on tightly. Then in a final gesture she pops her
- [Giving up - or not](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/11/2010-12-11-giving-up-or-not/) - Alya is almost 2 months old, and my milk supply has still not picked up. We've been supplementing since around 3 weeks, and the amount we give her has increased steadily. Though I know the risks of supplementing for decreasing milk supply, her health dictated supplementation after her weight started to decline and I continued
- [Other Posts](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/10/2010-12-10-other-posts/) - Life with baby has been busy. Nursing has been incredibly time consuming, and we basically hold her all the time when she's not nursing (with some time in a chair etc.) so opportunities to type are limited. I haven't written much more about feeding her, partly because of this, but also because it has been
- [Nicknames](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/12/10/2010-12-10-nicknames/) - Some of the names we use for our sweet girl: Munchkin, Munchy, Munchybadoodle, Pumpkin, Muffin, Pumpkin Muffin, Muffy, Muff-Muff, Stretch, Rumble-bum, Little Girl. Precede any of these with "little" or "sweet" for other variations. She is growing so much! She's suddenly outgrown so many of her clothes and is getting pudgy and dimply all over.
- [formula sucks](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/11/22/2010-11-22-formula-sucks/) - As a result of supplementing with formula because of my poorly managed milk supply, my baby now is constipated and quite a bit less smiley and happy than she was just a few days ago. Her poops are bigger and smelly. This sucks. Just more motivation to increase my milk supply. It will happen. Let
- [Real Milk](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/11/21/2010-11-21-real-milk/) - There's nothing like feeding my baby formula to motivate me to produce more milk. We had to start supplementing with formula yesterday as we ran out of donated milk and she needs more food to maintain weight, much less gain. Aside from the work and the cost, the health implications are frustrating: poor little girl
- [Day One](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/11/20/2010-11-20-day-one/) - This is our baby the morning of her birth. I can't believe how she's changed since then! Still the sweetest, though.
- [Sweetest baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/11/20/2010-11-20-sweetest-baby/) - I'm wearing our baby on my chest right now - her soft warm body asleep on me. I am so in love with her! She has a soft baby voice and big dark expressive eyes. She smiles and crinkles her eyes up and my heart melts! She's a stretchy little girl, her arms up and
- [Exclusive Breastfeeding](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/11/20/2010-11-20-exclusive-breastfeeding/) - Breastfeeding has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. Unlike some other activities, it's also one that I will NOT give up on, no matter what, in spite of the challenges. Let me say here that I believe I will achieve exclusive breastfeeding with my daughter, and I will do whatever I need
- [Great Baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/11/14/2010-11-14-great-baby/) - Our baby is the best. She smiles. She cuddles. She sleeps. She eats. We love her!
- [second good feed!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/11/03/2010-11-03-second-good-feed/) - latched on to the other breast PROPERLY for a solid 5 min. sucked really well & pulled herself off asleep when done. YAY! we can do this. goal is back to birthweight, then fully feeding from me.
- [Breastfeeding Bliss](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/11/01/2010-11-01-breastfeeding-bliss/) - Today Alya latched and sucked steadily on my right breast for almost 20 minutes. I could hear her swallowing; her eyes were open; she was enjoying it and getting food from me. It was the best feeling ever!! No nursing aids or anything. This is what I've been dreaming of. Still have stages and steps
- [Not learning patience](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/31/2010-10-31-not-learning-patience/) - I cannot believe that my blog post was lost!!! I take my minimal free time to write something constructive and positive about what is, right now, a really really difficult process, and all about what I'm learning and all the positive, helpful, empowering things I'm doing about it, and all the support I have, and
- [Breastfeeding](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/31/2010-10-31-breastfeeding/) - Well. I just finished writing a long post about breastfeeding. I was nearing the end of the post when (as usual!) my computer shut itself down to do updates. Even though I had SAVED the post, it has disappeared. My first spare time to write something in days. My chance to use writing to support
- [New Mother Fashion](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/24/2010-10-24-new-mother-fashion/) - I've been wearing some awesome things since giving birth. The best have probably been the disposable underwear: super-comfortable and practical! Next, to keep my glasses on my face I've attached a small elastic band around each earpiece so it doesn't slip. Super practical and comfy! So my hair doesn't tickle baby, hair is always back:
- [Labour part 2](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/24/2010-10-24-labour-part-2/) - On arrival she offered to check my dilation (something that she doesn't do routinely). I told her I wasn't sure, because I didn't want to be discouraged. She said she felt it would be encouraging, and I knew she would only tell me how it was going in positive terms. She checked and said I
- [Labour](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/19/2010-10-19-labour/) - Our last midwife appointment was on Tuesday, Oct. 12 - 40 weeks pregnant. M wasn't able to make it as he was trying to finish work in anticipation of baby's imminent arrival, so I walked there on my own. It was good to have the chance to talk through my lingering anxiety over birth with
- [baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/17/2010-10-17-baby-2/) - i am holding baby in my arms. she is the sweetest bundle of softness in the world. i am tired and heading to bed.
- [Beyond either/or](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/13/2010-10-13-beyond-eitheror/) - I'm a mother. And I'm a writer. I think I figured out today that it won't work for me to try and be one or the other. I've had a lot of angst the last few days as I tried to suppress, ignore and deny the writer in me that wanted desperately to make some
- [Psychology and labour](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/13/2010-10-13-psychology-and-labour/) - I'm excited for our baby to start the biggest adventure of his or her life! But I'm also nervous about my own role in that process. I want to make sure that I clear away any of my own barriers that might slow sweet little tuk-tuk from coming into this world when he's ready. One
- [Being Ready](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/10/2010-10-10-being-ready/) - I have to conclude that readiness is a state of mind, though things on the outside can influence the mind. As of a week ago our house was still a mess. M had started renos on the back room. Essential for the winter (poorly insulated), but in the process we were dealing with an unfinished
- [Organizing & decluttering principles](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/10/01/2010-10-01-organizing-decluttering-principles/) - With all the work we're doing on the house lately, I'm coming to a few new principles that I'm finding helpful in creating order in our home. 1. Do it now. When I have the impulse to organize, it's worth my while to do it right then, rather than wait until a future date I've
- [38 Weeks](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/29/2010-09-29-38-weeks/) - So much going on - so much to process. 38 weeks = baby really could come soon. Baby WILL come soon. We ran into a couple at the midwife's yesterday - she was due about the same time and her baby came 2 weeks early. Barb doesn't think baby will come for at least another
- [Space for Baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/21/2010-09-21-space-for-baby/) - At long last! We're creating physical spaces in our home for our sweet little wiggler. This past Saturday we finally fully tackled the office - the place had been overcrowded, cluttered and disorganized with papers, books and supplies from both me and M. Not good for efficient work, and not a place I loved being
- [Learning for Baby: First Aid](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/21/2010-09-21-learning-for-baby-first-aid/) - M & I went to our second course of the week - St. John Ambulance course called "Save That Child" - basic first aid for infants and children. It had been a while since either of us took a first aid course, so it was a very helpful refresher. We reviewed how to deal with
- [Learning for Baby: Breastfeeding](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/20/2010-09-20-learning-for-baby-breastfeeding/) - M & I have been to a couple of learning sessions in the past week to improve our skills as parents. First was a breastfeeding workshop by Interior Health - 2 hours in an evening about the benefits and strategies for effective breastfeeding. Much of what the public health nurse shared was familiar: breastfeeding is
- [Body changes](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/14/2010-09-14-body-changes/) - Some of the physical changes with pregnancy make me laugh. The first one that struck me was restless leg syndrome. When I heard about this at first (advertised through drug companies on TV), I thought it was a classic case of over-medicalizing normal conditions. I could not imagine that anyone would experience their legs as
- [Sense of entitlement](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/14/2010-09-14-sense-of-entitlement/) - To keep myself calm and stress-free, I've found that cultivating a certain sense of entitlement is helpful. For example, I am consistently late for my Monday night yoga class. Previously I was working, arriving home at 5, which didn't give enough time to eat and get to class by 6. Now, life just happens -
- [Looking forward to birth](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/14/2010-09-14-looking-forward-to-birth/) - A new thought: good to dwell on all the aspects of birth I'm looking forward to. Here are a few. The love and support of my husband Being in our home The coziness of birthing in October Our great midwife and her support Our wonderful doula and her support Stocking the house with great food
- [Sunday Back-up](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/13/2010-09-13-sunday-back-up/) - Sunday started slowly but built up pace as we moved through the day. Particularly after dinner, as we kept motoring through tasks until almost 10:00 at night. I found it quite challenging to relax and be okay with a slower pace during the day, as we had ambitious and necessary plans to get a lot
- [Baby Sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/13/2010-09-13-baby-sleep/) - One of the biggest things we still need to figure out before baby comes is sleeping arrangements. Simple question - complex calculations. We were given a free crib a while ago, but it didn't seem appealing - and wouldn't fit in our bedroom. Some of the considerations we're going through include: 1) Our sleeping preferences.
- [Happiness Project](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/12/2010-09-12-happiness-project/) - I just finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and want to start my own! Her initial realization was that she wasn't as happy as she could or should be, and she wanted to get happy now - for its own benefit, and so she would have a happiness reserve to fall back on
- [Movies](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/10/2010-09-10-movies/) - In a combination of coincidence and good planning, a whole stack of movies I requested at the library have become available in the past week. So, as part of my work/prep/relaxation/just because time, I've been watching a lot more videos than usual. You are only permitted to take out 2 adult popular films at a
- [The Pink Kit](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/10/2010-09-10-the-pink-kit/) - Early in our pregnancy our midwife lent us a copy of The Pink Kit - a New Zealand resource developed for pregnant women and their partners to prepare for birth. It's different from any other birth prep I've seen in that it examines the physical processes of birth and the individual anatomy of each woman,
- [Awake](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/10/2010-09-10-awake/) - It's 4:27 in the morning and I"m awake. I woke up more like 3:45 and have been trying to get myself to sleep again, but no good. Sleep is sometimes a bit dull - close my eyes, lie there doing nothing - while being awake I can read, surf the internet, have something to drink
- [Clearing Out](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/06/2010-09-06-clearing-out/) - Back from 3 days away, and in the count-down to having a new baby around, M & I are stepping up our decluttering. Our goal is to create space for a new baby - physical and emotional - and free ourselves from the burden of extra STUFF that will absorb our energy. More things =
- [New Baby Love](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/06/2010-09-06-new-baby-love/) - I deeply, sincerely love my new niece! My mom & I spent 3 days visiting/helping this past week, and boy was it a delight. She is small, sweet, soft, beautiful, adorable, and the most absorbing thing to stare at that I have ever seen. Talk about a meditative state - I could literally hold her
- [Indulgence](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/06/2010-09-06-indulgence/) - Yesterday was a wonderful, restful, home-based indulgent day. Delightful! M got a call in the morning to go mountain biking with friends, and I encouraged him to go. That left me home for a number of hours and I read a book - cover to cover, what a treat! (this is in addition to finishing
- [Mapping my pelvis](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/09/01/2010-09-01-mapping-my-pelvis/) - Good visit with the midwife today, and also big push: I'm going to give birth within a couple of months, and we NEED to do the Pink Kit. It's a New Zealand resource to help birthing women and partners by teaching you about your pelvis, breathing, positions for labour, etc. So tonight, though tired, we
- [So Proud](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/08/30/2010-08-30-so-proud/) - I'm so proud of my little sister! She just had her beautiful baby on Sunday. And I'm so glad for my brother in law, who was such a great support for her. I've been thinking a lot about childbirth over the last 8 months, but having someone so close to me give birth changes my
- [Elimination Communication](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/08/28/2010-08-28-elimination-communication/) - As we plan out our diapering strategy for baby, I've been very taken with the concept of what some call early or infant toilet training, and others refer to as elimination communication. The idea, as described in The Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh, is that babies are born with elimination reflexes comparable to feeding
- [Baby at night](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/08/28/2010-08-28-baby-at-night/) - Baby is so great! He's the adorablest. I had another dream about baby - may have been partly a waking dream - where his foot started poking out the top of my stomach, then it was TOTALLY poking out, and I could see it clearly and it was rolling back and forth across the top
- [Last day](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/08/28/2010-08-28-last-day/) - I can't believe I can write this: this was my last day at work. For the forseeable future. For at least one year. How did that happen?! And what will life be like without work? I suppose I've had breaks from work before, but this one feels substantially different, new life phase different. All the
- [Dreaming of baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/08/23/2010-08-23-dreaming-of-baby/) - Last night my belly was kind of hurting - I think I've started to have Braxton-Hicks contractions, with my abdomen occasionally insanely heavy, out of breath, tight and sore. So maybe it was that, or worry, or just baby talking to me, but I went back to sleep to a dream of baby. In my
- [11 Days](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/08/10/2010-08-10-11-days/) - I can't believe I have only 11 more days of work left. !! I can feel my pace picking up, as it usually does as I approach a deadline. It's a quirk of mine that I like to have things finished, neat and tidy before going out to have fun or move on to something
- [14 Days](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/08/05/2010-08-05-14-days/) - I can't believe that there are only 14 days of work left before I go on mat leave!! For a while there it was still months in the future. Then magically time moved on, I planned some vacation days, I ended up scheduling the leave to start a week earlier than planned ... wow, I
- [Yard Work](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/29/2010-07-29-yard-work/) - Last night we actually managed to get in about 2 hours of yard work. I've been feeling a bit frustrated and hopeless because there's so much to do and I just don't have the energy to tackle it. So it was a real treat to see what a difference a couple of hours can make.
- [Mat Leave:](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/29/2010-07-29-mat-leave-2/) - I can't wait. Boy oh boy I have been tired the last two days. I've had late starts because of appointments so I've been able to sleep in until 7:30 or later. I've reinstituted naps in the middle of the day in my office - 30 minutes on Tuesday, almost an hour today. and I'm
- [Updates to baby list](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/27/2010-07-27-updates-to-baby-list/) - My mom and I went to my sister's baby shower this weekend - fun!! It was good to see people I know, to spend time with my sister, and talk about babies. My mom was nice enough to drive the whole way so I got to snooze coming and going - totally essential, given how
- [tired](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/22/2010-07-22-tired/) - I don't even have the energy to give this post a capital letter. t-i-r-e-d. It's Wednesday, half way through a productive week. So far this week I've begun changing my work style (Thank you 4-hour workweek), finished a report I'd been avoiding, took action on transferring my US mutual funds to Canada, took care of
- [New life](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/21/2010-07-21-new-life/) - Marriage is one of the most miraculous things I've ever experienced. Two people who were complete strangers get to know each other, grow to love each other, commit to each other and build a family. They now wake up in bed together, clean the house together, count up receipts and money, plan meals, make friends,
- [Good food](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/20/2010-07-20-good-food/) - Finally, I actually felt like cooking tonight! A combo of the hot weather and pregnancy stomach means I haven't been into food preparation - or even eating - very much lately. And Mondays are particularly hard as I get home at 5 and have yoga at 6. But for some reason, on the way home
- [Buying baby things](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/19/2010-07-19-buying-baby-things/) - This weekend we wandered into a baby store so M could show me a baby bed he liked. This store is a newer, cool, natural-focused baby & mom store in the downtown area and shall remain nameless for liability reasons. Turns out we have friends in com,mon with the owner who was a lovely, friendly
- [Stuff for Baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/17/2010-07-17-stuff-for-baby/) - I've been reading "The 4-Hour Workweek" by Timothy Ferriss, and quite honestly, I can highly recommend it. So far what I've read aligns very practically and directly with lots of basic truths about how we use our time, how our thoughts limit our lives, and the need to live life with passion and excitement rather
- [Kids and Babies](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/17/2010-07-17-kids-and-babies/) - We went to visit my in-laws the other night - brother & sister-in-law and their 2 kids, ages 5 and 8. I"m excited that our baby will have some cousins right in town to play with! We haven't seen them a lot during the pregnancy, and I want them to know that this baby is
- [Sleep](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/15/2010-07-15-sleep/) - Sleep, when I get it, is so great. I was struggling for a few days to get enough rest. Temperature was the main challenge - the weather was really hot, and we don't have a/c so I was up swabbing myself down, hosing off my feet or setting the fan for most of the night.
- [Naming Baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/12/2010-07-12-naming-baby/) - While we haven't honed in on our top names for baby when he gets here, we have lots of names for cutie right now. The first favourite was Whump Whump or Little Whumper in honour of his tendency to "whump" me. New favourites are Tuk-Tuk (also Little Tuk-Tuk) and Munchkin. Baby is definitely growing! I
- [Feeding Baby](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/11/2010-07-11-feeding-baby/) - Feeding a child is a big responsibility. And sometimes, a lot of work. With the warmer weather it's felt like more work than usual, particularly coming up with healthy home-cooked meals with enough greens, iron, protein and calcium to keep baby growing (not that baby seems to mine - baby is getting bigger and bigger,
- [Letting Go](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/07/06/2010-07-06-letting-go/) - = something I have had a hard time doing lately. I don't know if it's hormones or just a character flaw, but lately I've been getting 1) Really angry really quickly over things people do that I think are wrong or unjust (particularly if they affect ME!). Example: Bus driver pulls up today late at
- [Babies, the movie](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/29/2010-06-29-babies-the-movie/) - M finally got back to town on Friday night! It was so good to see him and have the weekend together. We spent Saturday running around, at the beach, and finally went to a movie. There were about 5 couples in the audience for Babies, including us - one other pregnant couple, and our old
- [Underwear](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/29/2010-06-29-underwear/) - What kind of underwear DO pregnant women wear? I've been getting by on my pre-pregnancy ones so far, but I can feel the elastic burrowing in for some of the higher-waisted numbers. I went looking for some this weekend but none of the size-larger regular underwear looked like it would fit me - same high
- [Exhaustion](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/29/2010-06-29-exhaustion/) - Not sure if this is the latest phase of pregnancy, but I've been hit with real tiredness and headaches lately. My head was achy most of Sunday, which was okay because I could sleep, and then most of today, which wasn't okay because I was at work. Sore, hard to concentrate with bouts of mild
- [Mat Leave](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/24/2010-06-24-mat-leave/) - One of the great things about my job is that I get to leave it. Not permanently - but the agreement for my position includes 52 weeks of maternity leave. And since I just passed my one year probationary review (yay, what a relief! And how great to have a job that I can succeed
- [In praise of single moms](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/23/2010-06-23-in-praise-of-single-moms/) - My husband is out of town and I can't handle life on my own. I don't know how single mothers do it. I don't like being in the house alone. Food prep is boring and pointless. I'm eating okay but not the variety or quality I do when he's here. I hate cleaning up and
- [Birthing Alternatives](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/20/2010-06-20-birthing-alternatives/) - The day after M headed out of town for work I was lounging on my couch, wiped out from work and lonely. A house without M is no fun at all! Distracting TV on, Frasier to fill in the time and emptiness. Then our midwife called to report on the ultrasound results - all good,
- [Headache](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/18/2010-06-18-headache/) - Woke up feeling sickish this morning - not nauseous, but the tired, throat a bit sore, pre-sick feeling I know means I need to rest. I slept in a bit more and skipped my ride and caught the bus a bit later (not so late - 9:15) to get to work by 10. I seriously
- [Normal](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/16/2010-06-16-normal/) - I'm gaining a new appreciation of the word "normal." In my work - human rights education, equity issues - normal is not a great word. It means there is a standard that humans should live up to, and if they are different from this standard - if they are not "normal" according to whoever sets
- [Baby!](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/15/2010-06-15-baby/) - Today we met baby! Sweet adorable smart strong intelligent little cutie! Sweet and adorable is a given for such a little wiggly being. Smart we learned about today: when M said hello to baby on the screen, baby waved back!! And definitely strong, seen in the powerful kicks last night in bed and today at
- [The sweetest thing](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/13/2010-06-13-the-sweetest-thing/) - Lying in bed at night, half asleep, and feeling a gentle wiggle followed by a couple of "Hey mom, how's it going?" kicks from the wee one.
- [Napzone](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/13/2010-06-13-napzone/) - Since getting pregnant I've been torn by two contradictory impulses: the desire to clean, organize and finish as many things as possible before baby comes; and the desire to rest. For the first time ever, I have a really good reason NOT to push myself as hard as I can to finish as much as
- [Indulgent and healthy treat.](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/13/2010-06-13-indulgent-and-healthy-treat/) - On a library visit recently I thumbed through a copy of "Mothering" magazine and happened on a picture of a rich, chocolate pudding. I love chocolate pudding. And I never have chocolate pudding, especially now, because it's a high sugar, usually heavily processed non-food. Imagine my delight to see this picture in a raw food
- [Activity](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/13/2010-06-13-activity/) - Since those first two kicks, the inhabitant(s) of my womb have been getting active. I can now feel them flipping and swimming all over the place: fluttery flickerings, wishy-washy sensations, clear moving around of little bodies. And the best part, the most fun part, is that they (yes, we continue to be pretty sure there
- [Getting my Kicks](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/06/13/2010-06-13-getting-my-kicks/) - Two weeks ago we went in for our first ultrasound. We weren't planning on having any medical tests but our midwife subtly told us that we really needed this one to confirm how many babies we were growing: "If it's twins we need to know." So we agreed, and were excited and nervous to officially
- [13 weeks](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/04/17/2010-04-17-13-weeks/) - No at home + exhaustion = not blogging for 2 weeks. We had a really positive 13 week check-up. Our midwife soothed some of our concerns about what might happen if complications arose. All my vitals look good (yay!) and the baby feels fine. Wow ... so amazing to now be in the 2nd trimester
- [Food for stomach](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/04/07/2010-04-07-food-for-stomach/) - With this prenatal nausea, I've learned that my stomach doesn't always or even often know best. I still feel (at 13 weeks!) sick for a lot of most days. My food aversions continue - BLECH to broccoli and a whole bunch of other foods that are normally delicious and healthy. But once I get something
- [34 C](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/04/07/2010-04-07-34-c/) - Yes, I'm getting bigger all over. We were in Bellingham this weekend and I bought 2 new bras from Target - sweatshop-produced comfy marvels. It's amazing how much more comfortable they are than my previous smaller size! I thought they looked too huge on the rack, but not when worn ... [bad joke removed.] Sadly,
- [Food](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/27/2010-03-27-food/) - My appetite isn't great, and the nausea continues. Oh well! Nothing like a friendly reminder that baby is still there, growing away. The nausea is usually okay in the morning. I have some water or tea, then maybe toast or cereal or french toast (please, no eggs in any other form!!!). By nibbling all morning
- [Skin care](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/27/2010-03-27-skin-care/) - Apparently, skin stretches when you're pregnant - particularly around the belly. I've been using grapeseed oil for a while as a moisturizer and it works well: no additives, absorbs well, and cheap. My sister recently suggested another natural moisturizer that she's using: coconut oil. I love it! It's solid (though it melts in your hands)
- [Happy](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/20/2010-03-20-happy/) - I realized that the last few posts may have sounded like I was complaining and miserable. In fact, lately, I've been really happy. I enjoy my work, my family is great, spring is coming. And most importantly, I have a new baby on the way, and a completely amazing husband to share it all with.
- [Stress and sickness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/18/2010-03-18-stress-and-sickness/) - Being pregnant is no joke. I'm happy and excited and having a bit of a hard time. It's been almost 3 weeks of being sick and I still have a bad cough. Shakes my body, hurts my lungs, roughs up my voice. And still tired. Haven't seen my in-laws for almost 2 months. And today,
- [Nausea, exhaustion and sickness](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/14/2010-03-14-nausea-exhaustion-and-sickness/) - These have been major themes of my life for the past few weeks. Sure enough, shortly on the heels of 6 weeks' pregnancy, nausea started up - not really in the morning, but hitting me throughout the day, unsettling me and leaving me feeling BLEH. Eating and drinking help, but not too much or then
- [Food again](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/05/2010-03-05-food-again/) - Baby sure likes to eat! But only the right food, at the right time. When my stomach gets used to a certain taste it usually wants it to continue. Switching between different cuisines or even dishes, even meal to meal, can be hard. The other night I had a sushi craving and left work with
- [Overcoming Worry](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/05/2010-03-05-overcoming-worry/) - After the initial excitement of finding out we're pregnant I've been accompanied by a constant stream of worry. I thought I'd be more concerned about things like giving birth, the difficult first few months or keeping my work and career going. Instead, the worry focuses on one theme: is baby okay? I struggle to free
- [Feeling sick](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/03/2010-03-03-feeling-sick/) - I've had a bad cold since last Thursday. I slept a lot of Friday - minus a couple of hours at work that I couldn't miss - and almost all of Saturday and Sunday. The weekend was a blur: wake up, drink, eat, read, sleep. Wake up again, repeat. I put in a few hours
- [In search of a birth attendant](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/03/2010-03-03-in-search-of-a-birth-attendant/) - Before we got married we became friends with a woman in the community who is a midwife. She met with us before the wedding to talk about natural family planning, and has been great to go to with questions. Having someone we both know and trust was a natural fit when it came to deciding
- [Food Cravings](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/2010/03/02/2010-03-02-food-cravings/) - I've always had dreams about food. I remember one particularly horrible dream when I was a teenager, eating chocolate and chicken-flavoured chocolate chips. And often, when my body seems to be low on energy, I'll dream about salmon or something sugary. But since getting pregnant the cravings have been increasingly vivid and frequent. Last night

## Pages

- [Home](https://kamillamilligan.com/) - Territory Acknowledgment I am grateful for the opportunity to live on the homelands and traditional territories of many peoples throughout my life: The Haida peoples; the Syilx Okanagan Nation; the Mississaugas of the Credit, Anishinnabe, Hodinöhsö:ni’ and Wendat peoples on the Dish with One Spoon territory; the Chesapeake peoples; the Choctaw and Natchez peoples; the
- [Contact Kamilla Milligan](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/contact-us/) - I would love to connect with you! You can: Email me at kamillawriter@proton.me Sign up for my newsletter Find me on Linktr.ee Follow me on Bluesky or Instagram I'm represented by Chelsea Hensley at Mad Woman Literary Agency. Bluesky
- [Books & writing](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/books/) - I occasionally write about other topics, including fibre arts.
- [About Kamilla Milligan](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/about/) - Kamilla in Brief I write books for children that are grounded in respectful relationships, love of nature, and joy. My writing is shaped by early years on Haida Gwai, growing up brownish in a predominantly white area, and the belief that diversity is part of humanity's essential oneness. I have a background in education (PhD),
- [Kamilla MIlligan, Writer](https://kamillamilligan.com/index.php/home/) - Welcome! My name is Kamilla, and I write stories about the power in diversity, the magic of nature, and the joy of home. As a lifelong compulsive reader, I know the pleasure of escaping into a story that provides hope, healing, comfort, and a good dose of humour. I hope you can find these things

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