It’s been a bit of a wild week, as you may have guessed. Tuesday and Wednesday nights I crashed in bed with baby around 8:30. In spite of the early bedtime, Tuesday night wasn’t a good sleep: baby was up every couple of hours. Last night, on the other hand, was magical. We all crashed out at 8 something. Baby woke up maybe twice. And we woke up a bit before 8. Dreamy!! It was nice to be well rested today.
\nIt’s kind of crazy to contemplate that my birthday is on Sunday. 40 years old: wow. I’ve been stressing about this birthday for months and months, yet that stress never seemed to help me plan anything. And now here we are, mere days away, nothing planned.<\/p>\n
Fortunately, as the date has got closer, its importance has dropped. I kind of barely care anymore. 40 no longer needs to be a hugely symbolic age – I’m officially a year older, life’s pretty good, and I plan to keep moving forward.<\/p>\n
Though this is my stated position, I must admit I am feeling stress that is hard to shake. I just started a week’s vacation tonight, and I’m not really up for relaxing yet. I’m anxious about the long list of things I want to do before we leave. I’m stressed by the course I’m teaching (yes, mom, I will NEVER say yes to teaching again!). The house is, once again, a mess. And just ongoing life – are we caught up on our finances? What meals can we plan for weekdays? Will I ever be able to brush my daughter’s teeth? etc.<\/p>\n
My hunched shoulders and crossed arms tonight are the reason we’re heading out of town for a few days. I’m sorely tempted to stay home during my week off to “get things done” and “catch up.” I know what that will be in practice: dashing around madly for a week, coming up with yet more things to do, and never really getting a break or change of scenery that will rejuvenate me. So, I’m going to embrace the birthday girls prerogative to demand that certain things get done :), and to ignore those that aren’t going to get done. Life will go on, and maybe post-40 I can embrace just living a little more fully.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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