Today I nearly had a melt-down. And made it back to normal or better.
\nWhy the emotional collapse? The usual: dwelling on the negative, and baby not doing what I wanted. Ridiculous reasons, really. I know better than to focus on the dark side, but in relation to baby cooperation and breastfeeding, it’s where I go constantly. And I KNOW that the purpose of babies is to do what they need to do and help their parents grow by learning to deal with lack of control. Yet I resist. <\/p>\n
Today baby wouldn’t nap (twice) because she didn’t get enough milk and I didn’t have a bottle ready for her. Once she’s crying and awake, it’s game over for that round. I was ready to do something … I have no idea what, aside from getting ready to bundle her into a stroller and walk really fast in circles – when my parents came by on their way up from Van. Relief. Mom looked after baby while I decompressed. <\/p>\n
Eventually they left and baby & I walked. Almost 2 hours of walking and she only fell asleep a few blocks from home. She was starting to cry and I put her in the Ergo – magic solution, in spite of my frustration, as she started to smile, laugh, relax and became instantly happy. And then fell asleep. Aaaah … :). Slept for almost 2 hours, I got things done, and felt much calmer after.<\/p>\n
Talked things through with my husband – I feel much better about getting some perspective and managing my emotions around baby. <\/p>\n
Other good things: the house is getting CLEAN! We love to come home to a clean house so it’s all getting done, including long-overdue vacuuming. <\/p>\n
Then, I went to drumming tonight. my old teacher invited some friends, musicians, former students etc. to practice once a week for the next few months and see if it goes anywhere. I haven’t drummed (afro-cuban) since I was pregnant. Such fun!! We worked on 2 rhythms, yambu and guaguanco. I got to play most parts, with some prompting. The feeling of being in the groove with a 5-part rhythm is awesome. Great group of people, too – very friendly and collaborative.<\/p>\n
Then, magical baby bedtime: nurse, play, tiniest of cries, roll over and [toss around a bit and] sleep. Aaah \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n